The Primal Happiness Show (Interview)

This week's show is with Darcia Narvaez, Professor of Psychology at the University of Notre Dame. Darcia publishes extensively on moral development and education. Author or editor of 13 books, her most recent authored books include Embodied Morality: Protectionism, Engagement and Imagination, and Neurobiology and the Development of Human Morality: Evolution, Culture and Wisdom, which won the William James Book Award from the American Psychological Association.  She is a fellow of the American Psychological Association and the American Educational Research Association. She is executive editor of the Journal of Moral Education. She also writes a popular blog for Psychology Today (“Moral Landscapes”).

Her academic scholarship has moved from work on nonconscious moral rationality, to moral character education in the schools, to the neurobiology of moral development, to the study of evolved parenting practices, and the study of small-band hunter-gatherers who represent the type of society in which humans evolved.

All this comes together in a moral developmental systems theory that emphasizes the ongoing epigenetic plasticity of how we develop our humanity and our morality. We are co-constructed by our families and our experiences. Ultimately, Darcia's concerns are for developmental optimization and fulfilling human potential—actionable communal imagination.

In this show we spoke about how a sense of  connection is so vital to humans ability to thrive (so much so that 'Tribe' is one of our 7 Primal Fundamentals in our Primal State Formula). What's morality and cooperation like in our ancestral, indigenous setting? What can we do to reconnect in this crazy modern world?

Darcia takes us through the experience of children who are raised in line with ancestral indigenous ways, what this looks and feels like, and what kind of adult that results in. We then got into the consequences when children aren't raised in this way (ie the norm for most of us being raised in a typically Western way). And lastly, what we can do to change things for the better - how we can become more connected.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • When we're raised in an 'evolved nest' (which is typical of our ancestral, indigenous way of parenting) then we grow with a sense of deep connectedness to everything (literally everything!)
  • To move away from this disconnected and egoic way that most of us are living we need to change how we're raising babies and children - we need to make them our true priority.
  • Follow your instincts... that you're connected to everything, play more, be silly, use your imagination to have empathy for others. That way we can create a better world for us all.
Direct download: Darcia_Round_2_mixdown.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 11:46am EDT

This week's show is with Briana and Dr. Peter Borten. They have made it their mission to create a more peaceful world by helping individuals reestablish a sense of inner peace and balance. They are the founders of The Dragontree, a wellness organization with holistic spas in Portland and Boulder, online courses, natural body care products, and resources for vibrant living.

The secret to living an exceptional life — with fulfilling work and leisure, meaningful relationships, and time for oneself — is finding balance. Briana and Dr. Peter Borten have the strategies you need to achieve this all-important balance in your life — even in the face of chaos.

In this show we spoke about how to incorporate wellness into our work lives. In this show we spoke about how to incorporate wellness into our work life. It’s often where we most struggle to create and maintain the practices that serve us.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Sweetness: the things in our lives that feed our life, body and soul.  Are you making the space for sweetness in your life? What sweetness do you already have in your life that you can bring into your awareness. Bring your full self to your work - more present we are the more we can find the sweetness that's already there. Remembering the why of what you're doing at work. Focus on what's important. We're more efficient, we get more done, and we enjoy work more.
  • Structure: the architecture of our lives - how we organise what we do. Is your structure getting you to where you want to go? Is it supporting having sweetness and space in your life? Spend time planning your work what you want to do every day in your week - that allows you to be more present. When you know what you need to do and you've done it, you know you're done and can celebrate! And don't forget... you deserve to keep your agreements to yourself. :-)
  • Space: perspective to see the bigger picture and to not react to your thoughts, also being out in nature and reconnecting to the natural world. Make sure you have time for Space in your schedule. When we're more present we naturally create more space. Discovering your life purpose and your greatest gifts will open up spaciousness.
Direct download: Briana_mixdown.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 2:13pm EDT

This week's show is with Molly Patrick. Molly is the co-founder of cleanfooddirtygirl.com. Molly's expertise used to be drinking red wine and is now on the Whole Food Plant Based diet. She guides people on their journey of changing what, how and why they eat in a way that sticks. Losing weight, getting off from medication and falling in love with life is just a taste of what Molly has to offer.

In this show we spoke about what gets in the way of us having acceptance of our body and what Molly's seen about how we can how to overcome our issues with body image and fall head over heels in love with our body instead. :-)

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Molly found that for her taking steps to remove unhealthy habits from her life was what led to her falling in love with her body, whilst she was still drinking heavily she lack the clarity to see herself differently. It isn't always necessary for it to happen in exactly that way or that order but as Molly said, seeing clearly is what allows us to see ourselves how we truly are.
  • We don't always need to follow a 4 step 'how to' plan to change, often simply having openness to something changing often seems to bring about an insight or an idea that allows that change to happen.
  • Reconnecting to what's more natural for humans, such as grounding our body in movement, connection to others and to nature, can be a powerful catalyst for feeling more love for our bodies.
Direct download: Molly_mixdown.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 11:45am EDT

This week's show is with Rudi Kennard. Rudi is a Three Principles Facilitator and film-maker who has been travelling the world, interviewing other facilitators, teachers and people who have had their lives transformed through understanding the principles. After spontaneously experiencing a profound shift in consciousness 22 years ago, Rudi ‘searched’ to explain this insight with others so trained in many mind technologies including NLP and hypnotherapy, then went on to teach Chi Gong and mindfulness meditation.

Thirteen years ago he came across the three principles and trained with the originator Sydney Banks and it’s pioneer Dr Roger Mills. Rudi spent over three years full time voluntarily creating the www.3principlesmovies.com web site as a free resource for the world, and now trains facilitator in the understanding internationally.
 
Rudi has written for magazines, spoken on the radio, and trained others in this understanding within the fields of addiction, business, education, to prison and jail inmates, and more recently with earthquake survivors in Nepal. Rudi is currently writing a book and filming a worldwide cinematic documentary on the three principles paradigm.

So on today's show, Rudi’s talking about how breaking up with his wife Jenny allowed him to understand relationships and the human experience more deeply, so in this show we explored the truth about love and also loss.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • We often think that we need a great relationship to be happy however we're never experiencing any relationship directly, we're experiencing our thoughts about relationships - and we can think differently about everything!
  • We all have natural resilience - when we get out of our own way, we can bounce back stronger than ever.
  • People often believe that a happy relationships is created by compromising and moulding yourself to fit what you think is your partner's idea of someone they would like to be with but it's worth exploring the truth of that and what else is possible.
Direct download: Rudi_3_Final_mixdown.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 2:15pm EDT

And this week's show is with Tamsin Hartley. Tamsin worked as a physiotherapist in the NHS for ten years before taking time out to bring her young family up. She then retrained to work as a coach, trainer and workshop facilitator. She has always been drawn to using metaphor in her work, and when a friend introduced her to Clean Language it wasn’t long before she was hooked. Here was a respectful way of working with people’s metaphors that is both resourceful and richly creative.

Tamsin has combined the principles of mindful awareness with exploration using Clean Language to create the Listening Space – a new approach to listening to yourself and others that can help transform your life. She is author of the book ‘The Listening Space: A New Path to Personal Discover’ which is due to be launched in January 2017.

In this show we spoke about Tamsin's approach to empowering people to explore what's going on their subconscious and to provide the space for new perspectives, ideas and solutions.

What you'll learn from this episode:

The power of asking 'clean questions': 

  • (And) what kind of ... is that?
  • (And) is there anything else about ...?
  • (And) where/ whereabouts is ...?
Direct download: Tamsin_Hartley_mixdown_3.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 9:11am EDT

This week's show is with Dr. Phillip Carson. Dr. Phil Carson knows how to help people get the most out of their life by working together with them to uncover the root cause of their health issues.

Too many people are living as prisoners in their own bodies, held captive by bad habits that have drained them of their livelihood and sentenced them to a premature death. These harsh realities are what have kept Dr. Phil passionate about practicing pharmacy since 1985.

Dr. Phil is all about improving his patient’s quality of life and encouraging everyone he comes in contact with to live healthier lives and transform their overall health into a blessing, not a burden.

In this show we spoke about gut health... What do we mean by gut or digestive health, why is it important and how do we go about creating it?

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • It’s so important to slow down and let your body do what it's designed to. We make it hard to be healthy simply by getting in the way of what our bodies can do quite naturally and easily.
  • The foods we eat are extremely important to digestive health. We need live, raw foods for enzymes and fibre.
  • Drink more water! Cut your body weight (in pounds) in half and drink that in ounces.
  • We need probiotics - if you're not getting them via diet - from consuming things like kombucha and fermented veggies - then it's vital to take a probiotic supplement.
Direct download: Phillip_Carson_mixdown.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:04pm EDT

This show is with Kim Kaase. As a professional business coach, consultant and transformational trainer she supports her clients by working with them to craft a clear personal vision while creating results that are important to them. She uses her background as a designer to creatively solve problems and approach challenges as a coach from a very unique perspective. 

Kim's experience in creating breakthrough sales results as well as executing company vision and goals melds perfectly with her coaching career. As a dealer principal, Kim led sales and sales support teams to grow the dealership from $14mm in 2003 to $38mm in just 4 years while industry trends were going in the opposite direction.

Kim graduated from the University of Houston in 1990 with a BFA in Interior Design and a certification in Transformative Coaching. Her career has included work with a vast array of professional services firms and successful entrepreneurs.. She is the Principal at her firm, LEAP Business Coaching. In her free time she enjoys transformational work, bird watching, cooking and creating memories with her son, Rex. Kim’s vision includes creating a world where everyone leads lives that they absolutely love!

In this show we talked about Kim's recent divorce and how what she learned from it has inspired her to help others who are trying to figure out whether to stay in their relationship. In essence, we explored the question: Is divorce the answer?

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • A lot of relationship guidance out there is about analysing your marriage issues or about how to make it work - not addressing the question of whether divorcing is actually the answer.
  • Whilst we might not want the responsibility of making a big decision, the question of whether to stay in a marriage or divorce is something is we can only answer the question for ourselves. Be clear WHY you're getting counselling or coaching.
  • The inner voice that spoke when Kim felt quiet and settled down was giving the answer all along. Kim realised that intuition and insights don't always have to be what we might describe as 'positive'.
  • Ask yourself "What do I want?" That can be a challenge because the answer can make us feel selfish or guilty but understanding what you want can be revealing and helpful.
  • What if I don't know what my intuition is telling me? Kim said: be patient, just give it some space and time.
Direct download: Kim_Kasse_mixdown.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 11:53am EDT

This week's show is with Darcia Narvaez, Professor of Psychology at the University of Notre Dame. Darcia publishes extensively on moral development and education. Author or editor of 13 books, her most recent authored books include Embodied Morality: Protectionism, Engagement and Imagination, and Neurobiology and the Development of Human Morality: Evolution, Culture and Wisdom, which won the William James Book Award from the American Psychological Association.  She is a fellow of the American Psychological Association and the American Educational Research Association. She is executive editor of the Journal of Moral Education. She also writes a popular blog for Psychology Today (“Moral Landscapes”).

Her academic scholarship has moved from work on nonconscious moral rationality, to moral character education in the schools, to the neurobiology of moral development, to the study of evolved parenting practices, and the study of small-band hunter-gatherers who represent the type of society in which humans evolved.

All this comes together in a moral developmental systems theory that emphasizes the ongoing epigenetic plasticity of how we develop our humanity and our morality. We are co-constructed by our families and our experiences. Ultimately, Darcia's concerns are for developmental optimization and fulfilling human potential—actionable communal imagination.

In this show we spoke about Darcia's studies around the best environment and practices for raising children.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Natural childbirth - keeping the mother and baby together, low lighting, and a calm environment - provides both mothers and babies with the best start.
  • The baby should really be in the womb for another 18 months in terms of its development compared to other mammals. We can support babies in this crucial time of development through providing a calm, loving environment and responding quickly to their cries. This means lots of positive touch (nearly constant carrying and cuddling) meeting a baby’s needs before they get upset and their brain is flooded with stress hormones.
  • Breastfeeding is important until at least 2 years, ideally to 5 years. Breast milk provides the foundation to children's immune system.
  • Children benefit from being cared for by multiple adults - people who love and care for the child in addition to the mother and father and who can help create a positive social environment for the child.
  • Play is crucial! Children need lots of play with playmates of all ages. Studies show that children who don’t play enough are more likely to have mental health issues. We can’t go back and do those early years of parenting again but we can all start playing more now!
Direct download: Darcia_mixdown.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:26pm EDT

This show is with Elaine Hilides. Elaine has been working with the principles of Mind, Consciousness and Thought since 2009 as a Wellbeing Coach and is also an author, international speaker and a Diet, Nutrition and Raw Food Advisor.  Elaine has a no.1 book on Amazon Kindle, ‘MindFullness: The No-Diet Diet’ and has two courses on Udemy on food and diet.

Elaine’s approach is a revolutionary step away from the usual world of diets and self-denial and it’s very, very effective – she’s helped hundreds of people to lose weight and go on to live healthier, happier lives.

In this show we spoke about food addiction… Elaine has worked with people around diet and food issues for over a decade and has had many clients tell her that they are addicted to food – usually the kind that’s loaded with refined sugar, trans fat and salt.  Sounds familiar? Let’s look at the real reason that these addictions happen and what you can do to overcome them.

What you’ll learn from this episode:

  • The excess of refined foods that we’re surrounded with is not what the human animal evolved with. And to make things worse: those foods are designed to be addictive.
  • The way that many foods are they’re marketed is based on the feeling that the ad is saying that the food will give us.
  • It’s not the actual food that we’re addicted to – if it was then we would all crave the same things – we would all overeat crisps or chocolate or whatever.
  • The real reason we are drawn to certain foods is because of a need that isn’t being met – maybe a desire to feel rewarded or to feel cared for.
  • Elaine suggests replacing the food that you’re feeling addicted to with a more nutritious alternative, such as frozen grapes or air-popped popcorn or a less refined version such as dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate.
Direct download: Elaine_mixdown_2.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 5:28am EDT

This week's show is with Emily Nature helps smart, successful career women to have fun in dating and relationships. Whether you want to get into partnerships with ease, get through rough patches with grace, or get out of heartbreak with freedom, Emily is your gal. Under Emily’s guidance, hundreds of women in the US, UK, Europe and Australia have found delicious relationships with themselves, with their bodies and with men. When Emily is not coaching, she can be found writing, dancing wildly, stalking squirrels, or contemplating on mountain tops.

Emily and I talked about her experience of exploring past her boundaries and testing her edges in a relationship... and finding out what she does and doesn't want. In Emily's case the boundary was around her boyfriend's desire to experience a polyamorous relationship (ie wanting to experience sexual intimacy with more than one person) and then ultimately discovering that what she really wants is what she calls 'unconventional monogamy', however this topic of exploring our boundaries can apply to almost all of us.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Providing the space for yourself and your partner to explore and articulate your thoughts emotions means that you can more fully experience and benefit from what you're both feeling. That's not always easy to do and personally I found Emily's description of how she and her boyfriend did that was very inspiring.
  • Not knowing who you really are, what you want or don't want is a powerful place to be. When we lessen our grip on our stories about how we think we should be, so much freedom and exploration can come from that place.
  • Understanding that we're always 'OK', that we always have inner wellbeing and happiness, allows us to feel safer when we're exploring past our edges.
Direct download: Emily_Nature_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:19pm EDT

with Joshua Dawson of I Am Genie. The untimely death of his father led Joshua to give up all of his possessions and spend the last seven years traveling around the world dressed as a blue genie and granting wishes for people in need.

During his travels granting wishes and sharing the stage with names that include Eckhart Tolle, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, and Jack Canfield, Joshua came to remember that fulfilling all your deepest desires is much closer than you think.

In this show, Joshua shares the seven illusions that he's seen through during his journey that inspired his new book the Tiny Book of Magic.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • The illusions are Death, Force, Secrecy, Hardship, Limitations, Ownership and Time
  • As we see through these illusions we begin to let go of our attachment to our personality and our sense of separation and struggle.
  • Oscar Wilde said “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” instead we can listen to our hearts, express our true nature and live fully now.
Direct download: Joshua_Dawson_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:46pm EDT

This week's show is with Hogne Kirkebø. Hogne is a professional EMT and coach focused on spirituality, relationships and sexuality from Norway. Hogne seeks to bring together his understanding of the 3P, Tantra, Taoism, Yoga, and his medical training into a very unique and creative understanding of how our reality works as human beings, and to share that through his artistic nature.

Hogne is a professional EMT, Yoga Teacher and Therapist, Tantra Teacher, Tantric Massage Therapist, NLP Master Practiction, and have a background in Music and Innovation from University College.

So today’s show is with Hogne Kirkebo. This is the second time that Hogne has been on the show - after that one we got lots of feedback and questions which inspired Hogne and I to record another aimed at answering some of those questions! So in this show we explored what's going on when one person in a relationship doesn't want intimacy. It’s such a common issue and I’m hoping this show will be a real help to those of you who are experiencing this in your relationship.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • We all have the opportunity for connection - it's not going to be the same connection with every person though because we're all different so every connection is different!
  • Just because someone says they don't want intimacy, it only reflects what they think in that moment and doesn't mean that how they feel right now can't change.
  • It's not about you, it's about what's going on for the other person.
  • You are a gift receiving a gift. A belief that we're unworthy can get in the way of being able to receive that gift. An insights into our beliefs about ourselves can change everything.
Direct download: Hogne_2_Podcast_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 2:41pm EDT

This week's show is with Peter Michael Bauer. Peter has been writing and teaching about rewilding, the reversal of human domestication, since 2006.

He's the author of the book Rewild or Die (2008), the creator of the international web forum for rewilding www.rewild.com, the founder of the local non-profit, Rewild Portland, and he teaches a course called Rewilding 101. In this show we explore the importance of connecting to our 'place' and how to begin to ground ourselves in a sense of home: our local habitat.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Lack of connection to our 'home' environment shows up in all kinds of dis-eases. We were designed to be grounded within a place and lacking that connection is felt on an emotional and physical level.
  • We're made to do things collectively, to move between groups of people collaborating on common goals. The focus on the individual serves to isolate and weaken us whereas creating connection to others and our habitat allows us to thrive.
  • We all have different passion and obstacles so there isn't one nice easy prescription to rewilding that works for us all. As we learn more about the issues of how most of us are living in today's modern world, we can be creative in coming up with solutions that serve us individually, as well as the whole.

 

Direct download: Peter_Michael_Bauer_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:13pm EDT

This week's show is with Shaaba Lotun and Jamie Raines. They've been together for 5 years, Jamie is transgender and since the beginning of his transition has documented his transition online. Together, they try and raise awareness of transgender issues, in the hope to help the LGBT+ community as a whole. They have recently set up a social enterprise, This Is Me., to continue supporting the LGBT+ community from a more official platform. Shaaba and Jamie both believe that gender identity and happiness are greatly linked, but that it is an incredibly complex relationship and topic that needs further exploration.

In this show we talked about what gender is really about - what's conditioned, what's innate and what we can explored.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Your beliefs around gender might be more made up than you realise. There's a spectrum of ways that we can identify and express ourselves!
  • Most of us have been conditioned to express our gender in ways that society deems as acceptable - it's interesting to explore which of those you find useful and which ones you'd like to explore beyond.
  • You are free to be yourself. :-)
Direct download: Shaaba_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 5:59pm EDT

This week's show is with Michelle Atkin. Michelle is a mother to seven children, who she is immensely proud of. She has had an interesting and unconventional upbringing which she enjoys sharing with others in the hope that it others can feel less alone in the world.   In her professional capacity, Michelle works primarily with woman to support them to develop connections. This often starts with a  connection back to themselves in order to feel and understand their purpose in life at that moment.  Michelle has supported women in their parenting roles, having had a social enterprise for several years that became known nationally and internationally through various speaking opportunities. Michelle's passion is to build connections with, by and for people through simple and caring conversations.  She believes that underneath all the anxiety and pressures that we often feel and see, that we are all OK.

Michelle was raised in a cult and has spent the last 25 years recovering from and learning from it. In this show,  we explored the rather surprising topic of what we can learn from cults about connection!

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • The desire for connection and being part of a tribe is primal, it's part of being human. It's no wonder that joining cults can be so appealing when they're giving people something that's so lacking in this modern world.
  • There's an instant and effortless connection that we all had as children - pure presence - that's something that's still possible for us as adults, even though it's uncommon in today's world.
  • The fear of being disconnected holds us back from leaving unhealthy situations - but on the other side of that leap of faith, there's always the opportunity for connection. That's because connection is innate.
  • We are all connected all the time, we just lose the awareness of it.
Direct download: Michelle_Atkin_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:57pm EDT

This week's show is with Floris Koot. Floris Koot (58) is a 'Play Engineer' active in many fields. He co-founded a revolutionary school (Knowmads), developed a sport that breaks all the conventions (Switchball) and invented a piano method (learn to play freely in 15 minutes)! He trains a facilitates innovative processes.

He believes 'we' only win when everyone wins. Globally many people and organizations seek to work so that the whole will flourish through their activity. Floris contributes to this Gentle Revolution happening. He helps individuals and organisations to become more purpose driven, free and playful.

In this show, we explored the power of play - what exactly it is, why it's important and what are the benefits of us playing more. :-)

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Play frees us up to explore outside boundaries, breaks through patterns, think creatively and without focus on ticking boxes the 'right way'.
  • We all can learn fast and effectively through play - in fact, Floris said, it's how nature has designed for us to learn.
  • Play connects us  - it allows us to bring our full selves, our presence, to another person or situation and allows us to communicate beyond the bounds of defined roles and expectations.
Direct download: Floris_Koot_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 10:28am EDT

This week's show is with Mamoon Yusaf is a Thought Leader, Peace Activist, and Transformational Coach of the Muslim community.

He is the star of the popular TV shows, ‘The Quran Coach’ and ‘Taqwa Transformation’, where he changes people’s lives through his powerful message of the Truth of the Inside-Out paradigm.

He’s the creator of the Quran For Busy People blog & podcast which has a current subscription base of over 10,000 people, from all parts of the world. His wildly popular training programs include: Instant Ihsan; Meet Him & Marry Him; Quran For Busy People; Effortless Transformation; and many more.

He’s the co-founder of IMPACT (the International Membership of Professional Advisors, Coaches & Trainers) and has delivered coaching programs on behalf of some of the biggest names in the personal development industry.

Mamoon currently lives in Barcelona, Spain and is working on in his upcoming book, provisionally titled ‘Timeless Wisdom’ and loves travelling all over the world to speak and hang out with clients and friends.
 
In this show we explored why there are so many Muslim terrorists if, as Mamoon asserts, Islam is a religion of peace. We got into lots of things in this episode including the real reason that people commit acts of terrorism, the context of the verses in the Quran that terrorist use to justify their acts, and why describing terrorists as Islamic terrorists is allowing Isis to win.

What you’ll learn from this episode:

  • Mamoom said that the word 'If' is in the show title only because we don't understand what Islam is really about. It is a religion of peace. Islam means submission or surrender – however, it was derived from the root word “salam”. From this root word, you can also derive the words peace and safety.
  • Terrorists are cherry picking the verses that justify why they're killing people. Those verses don't make sense in context of the parts of the Quran or the Quran as a whole.
  • Terrorists have 'disease in their hearts', a state of mental dis-ease. They're doing what they're doing because they are at war with themselves, the world and God. This seems to me to be true for anyone who is behaving in ways that look horrible.
  • How can we help change things for the better? By being at peace with ourselves and the world. And by understanding that describing terrorism as Islamic terrorism we are allowing Isis - and their warped definition of Islam - win.
Direct download: Mamoon_Yusaf_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:33pm EDT

This week's show is with Hogne Kirkebø. Hogne is a professional EMT and coach focused on spirituality, relationships and sexuality from Norway. Hogne seeks to bring together his understanding of the 3P, Tantra, Taoism, Yoga, and his medical training into a very unique and creative understanding of how our reality works as human beings, and to share that through his artistic nature.

Hogne is a professional EMT, Yoga Teacher and Therapist, Tantra Teacher, Tantric Massage Therapist, NLP Master Practiction, and have a background in Music and Innovation from University College.

In this show we explored why so many men are insecure about their ability to please their woman sexually, why they use porn, what the issues with this are and how this shows up in their relationships and overall fulfilment in life.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Why men are feeling as though they're not attracted to their partners - and what they can do about it
  • The issues with using porn and ejaculating too frequently
  • How amazing sex can be when we're in a clear state of mind and we slow down and connect
Direct download: Hogne_Kirkeb_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 2:23pm EDT

This week's show is with Elizabeth Lovius. Elizabeth has always been interested in making things work better. In her early career at IBM, with a background in training, quality management and process improvement she went on a journey to discover what makes people perform at their peak.

Committed to life long learning, Elizabeth has since trained with and been mentored by some of the world’s leading coaches. In the early 90s, at a time when coaching practice was still emerging, she was apprentice to two pioneer coaches and authors: original Inner Game sports coach and co-inventor of the GROW model Alan Fine and internationally renowned transformative mastercoach Michael Neil. Today Elizabeth is a practitioner of the pioneering work of Sydney Banks, the 3 principles of human experience and she helps leaders develop creative and practical solutions to real life leadership situations. 

In this show we explored personality types, that age old question of "Who am I" and whether there's something before our personalities... some kind of true essence.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Humans are often driven to figure out the answer to the question 'Who am I? which can lead us down the path of taking personality tests such as the Enneagram, Belbin and Myers Briggs. These tests aren't really answering that question but they do reflect our thoughts and beliefs at that time.
  • We all have a 'true essence', who we came into the world as babies that's before our personalities and thoughts. 
  • There are many 'channels' that are available to us, we aren't limited to live life only through our personality type channel for example, there's so many other channels to explore!
Direct download: Elizabeth_Lovius_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:01pm EDT

This week's show is with Eva Church Robinson. Eva was introduced to The Three Principles in 1994, at that point she was 2 years clean and sober after 16 years of being almost constantly homeless and suffering with severe substance abuse related problems.

In Eva's own words: "I was working at the same treatment program that I had spent 6 months at previously. I was going to school for Counseling,  in my own apartment and my husband and son and I were trying to reconcile. At the same time though I was NOT happy. I didn't have any peace of mind. I knew that I never wanted to go back to where I came from (using alcohol and drugs). Yet at the same time,  If what I was experiencing was what life was all about,  I didn't want it either. Then one day at work, Roger Mills and Kristen Manchiem introduced the staff to The Three Principles. I left that day and I truly knew that I had found hope. That was the beginning of of my 1000% life transformation. And my real beginning of being of service to others and myself as well as my Son and Husband."
 
In this show Eva shares her story of starting life growing up in an alcoholic household and then going onto to experience teenage pregnancy, bereavement, serious drug and alcohol abuse and homelessness. And how she overcame all of those struggles and now lives an amazing life helping others who are dealing with some of the issues that she once did.
 
It's such an incredible and inspiring story that has lessons for all of us.
Direct download: Eva_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:27pm EDT

This week's show is with Erika Bugbee. Erika is a partner at Pransky and Associates and co-creator of the company's Online Learning Division.  For 35 years Pransky and Associates has helped individuals, couples, and executives who are motivated and open to learning relate to their minds differently so they're less affected by limitations, fears, and distress, and optimizes their enjoyment, peace of mind, and potential in life. Erika has a Masters degree in psychology and joined Pransky and Associates in 1999. She's married and has two kids, 12 and 14 years old and lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest region of the United States.

In this show we explored what Erika’s seen about the default setting that most of us have and how that gets in our way. 

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Our minds often have a default setting like blaming ourselves, or looking for danger but they're not true, they're just the setting that our thoughts are being created through.
  • We all have the opportunity to wake up to our settings at any moment - sometimes that comes from recognising the same setting in someone else. When that happens, the setting ceases to have the same power over us, it's no longer our default.
  • Everyone's lows are going to feel different and individual to them but they're still part of the same predictable trend that all humans experience - all of us go from low to high moods. Understanding that allows us to take the lows less seriously and simply wait for our mood to rise again.
Direct download: Erika_Bugbee_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:09pm EDT

And this week's show is with Craig Richardson. This is the second time Craig has been on the show, the first episode we did is here and it's about parenting. Craig joins many today who are engaged in asking the question, "What does it mean to be fully and authentically human?" As an advocate of the human rewilding movement he is interested in applying this question to all areas of life, including parenting, nutrition, education, lifestyle, and spirituality. He works both professionally and informally to help individuals to move towards authentic humanity and break free from the domestication model. He and his wife have unschooled their son since birth, and as a family they are interested in camping, hiking, natural family living, fire spinning, organic cooking, ancestral skills, and being as Earth-friendly as possible.

In this show we explored what 'rewilding' is, why we'd want to rewild and how we can go about moving in that direction!

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Craig describes rewilding as 'The set of practices, skills, and philosophies which enable modern humans to reclaim the approach to self, community, and ecology that was once held by our pre-agricultural ancestors.'
  • The 4 major shifts of the Neolithic Revolution that led to our domestication: Occupational, Social, Environmental, Spiritual.
  • Connecting with the natural world - seeking out green spaces, connecting with groups in your area who are interested in nature, and experimenting with fermentation.
  • How we've become specialists instead of generalists and why this has made us fragile.
  • Why our understanding and connection with spirituality doesn't have to be about something outside of ourselves or up there in the sky.
  • Understanding why connection to others in a community is so vital and how we can create it in this modern world.
Direct download: Craig_Richardson_2_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:21pm EDT

This week's show is with Mahima Shrestha. With a background in media and crisis communications, Mahima is interested in bringing people together to find solutions to complex problems and facilitating long-term change in culture and communities. Over the years she has worked with government, multilateral, private and non-profit organisations in a wide range of sectors including aviation, hydropower, tourism, investment climate reform, automobiles, finance, education, telecommunications and healthcare.

The Three Principles understanding has been pivotal in her work with leaders and has shaped the development of a leadership curriculum for young women working to find better solutions to the most pressing problems in the South Asian region. She is co-founder of MOP Communications, an organization that specializes in crisis communication and risk management training.

Direct download: Mahima_podcast_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 8:59am EDT

This week's show is with Mara Gleason. Mara is a firm believer that a new understanding of the mind is the next great frontier for humanity. In 2010, Mara co-founded NYC and London-based company, One Thought, which offers entrepreneurs, leaders and organizations a new understanding of the mind which brings about a profound new reality of working life.  Most recently, Mara also co-launched One Solution, a leading-edge initiative focused on creating a world where persistent global challenges are more clearly understood and quickly alleviated by a more profound understanding of the mind.  One Solution supports global change projects ranging from United Nations programs in Africa, aid work in the Middle East and Africa, and children's education around the world.

Today we're talking about Mara's experience of how she went from being scared of her father to witnessing a transformation in him. And how that went on to inspire her work in global change.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • When someone understands how their mind workd, they can change in every area of their life. Mara's father learned the principles through a course at work and it transformed how he was at home too.
  • When we understand where are feelings come from - ourselves not the outside world - it enables us to feel free and empowered instead of victimised.
  • Conflict comes from people believing that their feelings are coming from something other than their own thoughts. That's why Mara sees this understanding of the principles of mind as being the solution to all of the world's conflict.
Direct download: Mara_Gleason_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 9:06am EDT

Today's show is with Tony Broadbent. Tony's a State of Mind and Performance Specialist who works via speaking events, public, private and corporate training programmes, and one to one coaching.

Tony's original fascination with human potential was first sparked in 1978 whilst studying martial arts and resulted in him achieving two first dan black belts. He spent his younger years training to be a stuntman where his areas of expertise were skydiving, high board diving, gymnastics, trampolining, stunt driving and martial arts, so he's able to draw on personal experience when sharing the impact of operating from a clear mind in high pressure and high adrenaline situations.

He works with a diverse range of clients including sports professionals, business leaders, sales teams, entrepreneurs, companies, elite athletes, as well as general members of the public.

In this show, we explore whether change is possible in instant, and if so... how to create it.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • However long someone as suffered with something, whether that's OCD, anxiety, depression or anything else, the opportunity is always there to see it for the thought-created experience that it is.
  • Even if something seems difficult in one moment, understanding that we always have the capability to think differently in the next moment is so freeing.
  • Whatever you're going through, do you have moments in which you don't feel that way? Can you see that your thoughts DO change and in those moments, you feel differently?
Direct download: Tony_Broadbent_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 2:55pm EDT

This week's show is with someone we're delighted to have met... Craig Richardson. Craig joins many today who are engaged in asking the question, "What does it mean to be fully and authentically human?" As an advocate of the human rewilding movement he is interested in applying this question to all areas of life, including parenting, nutrition, education, lifestyle, and spirituality. He works both professionally and informally to help individuals to move towards authentic humanity and break free from the domestication model. He and his wife have unschooled their son since birth, and as a family they are interested in camping, hiking, natural family living, fire spinning, organic cooking, ancestral skills, and being as Earth-friendly as possible.

In this show we spoke how we can make different choices about how we raise and school our children to allow them to reach their full potential as human beings. We speak about unschooling, rewilding, attachment parenting and more. And what impact this way of raising children could have on the world and the future as a whole!

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Unschooling can seem like a novel concept but really it's how we've raised children in many cultures for thousands of years.
  • Socialisation when done through unschooling usually involves connecting with a far more diverse range of people than through traditional schooling. There are many different ways for our children to mix with and learn from many different people and there's resources and networks in many places, online and offline.
  • Craig has seen his son has a marked openness and eagerness to learn. Learning is its own reward rather than a means to an end.
  • When it comes to the conveniences we've introduced into our lives, it's worth asking if the convenience is propelling the idea of developing or diminishing my child and I as humans? Questions like: "What does it mean to communicate as a human being? What does it mean to connect with my child in a human to human way?" allows us to see ways forward that allow us to grow as human beings in our relationships with our children and others.
  • Schools are starting to recognise why linking subjects contextually (e.g. how we can learn maths through learning about something from history) is useful but this is something that happens very organically in a more natural setting such as unschooling.
  • Lastly, Craig talked about the openness and the acceptance of diversity that comes from raising children in this way, that makes for a future in which we're less like to get caught up in dogma and differences. When we're connected to our primal state, it's much less likely that we'll want to wreak damage on others or the planet.
Direct download: Craig_Richardson_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 8:32am EDT

This week's show is with the wonderful Bill Cumming. Bill is a thirty-year coaching veteran and Director of The Boothby Institute. He has been a coach, consultant and trainer to CEOs and the executive teams of health care delivery organizations, businesses, school systems and non-profit organizations. He is a key partner in the New Horizons Academy.

This is the second time Bill's been on this show, the last episode we did together is one of our most popular shows and with good reason - it's incredible. It blew me away. On this episode, yet again he was absolutely amazing.

Today we're talking about whether it's possible to create a world which works for everyone and how we can move past the bigotry that's getting in the way of that right now.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Do we want to pass on a safer, more loving and kind world? First we need to have a commitment to making a world that works for everyone.
  • We need to destroy the myths that are getting in the way of that. For example recognising that other people want the same things that we do.
  • Take care of yourself - realise you're a miracle, living in a miracle. You can't change, empower or motivate anyone so focus on yourself.
  • Pick something that you want to be involved with. Pick one thing, decide what you're going do about that. You've got a clean slate, you can use that to choose to do whatever you want in the next moment.
Direct download: Bill_Cumming_2016_mixdown_final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:11pm EDT

This week's show is with Chris Morris. Chris is a well-known personal coach, consultant and a meditation teacher and has spent decades exploring a tonne of different self-help techniques and ‘thought-based’ approaches, including meditation, NLP, the three principles, A Course in Miracles, and Byron Katie’s The Work.

One of many interesting facts about Chris is that successfully challenged the British government in the European Court of Human Rights to secure equal age of consent for sexual activity between men.

In this show, Chris and Lian explored the (massive!) topics of politics, religion and spirituality (and more)... and the way we so often get caught up in dogmatic beliefs, how we don't see that we have, and how much of the conflict between humans is the result of that. This seemed like an apt topic post-Brexit but really it would be apt at any time.

If you believe in, well... anything then this is the show for you! ;)

I’d love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let’s carry on the conversation…  please leave a comment below.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Doing and being... Chris talked about how we can fall into the belief that life is simply about 'being' and we then miss that we're always doing something, our being comes from what we do (and vice versa). When we understand that we can make different choices about what we do.
  • Dogma vs Catma... believing dogma is about believing a principle or set of principles laid down by an authority as incontrovertibly true. Catma is about understanding a principle... but just for now. Continuing to explore, to ask, to test is what allows us to be less dogmatic and more catmatic.
  • Explore who you would be, if you didn't have the background you have, if you hadn't had the conditioning you had, if you didn't have the beliefs... it isn't about answering this question, it's about exploring the place you would need to be in order to answer it.
Direct download: Chris_Morris_mixdown_Final01.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 10:54am EDT

And this week's show is with Lyric-Howard Jay Ginsberg. Starting in the 1980s, Lyric has been developing his crazy off the wall programs, throwing out the common models and merging and weaving together in-depth and advanced personal fitness training, dietary training, emotional awareness, NLP, sexual and relationship communication and enhancement, and consciousness and Integral thinking.

The world today is one where we are no longer concerned with survival, but now thriving. This means we need to accent what we've lost.. focusing on the feminine... enhancing their peace of mind, abilities, and impact on
the world. He applies his many different approaches with women entrepreneurs and professionals (some men to) to accelerate their growth. Each of his programs are synthesized from hundreds of existing models, tested in real-world situations, and streamlined for individual performance.

In this show, Lyric and Lian explored the topic of women and aloneness - how that aloneness can be seen as loneliness which shows up in addiction, abusive relationships, dependencies, bad habits, and closing off to life in many ways.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • We place a negative meaning on the fact of our 'aloneness', we decide it's 'loneliness'... and then that makes us seek out ways to distract or remove ourselves from the feeling.
  • Lyric talked about the ways we try to remove this loneliness: the three 'atchments' of detachment, attachment, non-attachment.
  • It's important to remember that we don't actively or consciously choose any of these atchments, they're what simply what our thoughts are creating based on the way we see ourselves and the world. Those beliefs were once useful for us but it doesn't mean that they still are serving us well now.
  • As we as women (actually, men too!) see through our atchments and become more comfortable with our inherent aloneness, we can see the core of us is perfectly and naturally OK and we're more able to be open to exploring and connecting from that place.

 

Direct download: Lyric_mixdown_Fianl.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:31pm EDT

I’m here today with Lea Ann Mallett, a wild woman, activist and midlife momma who believes fiercely that we all have a wild place within us that feeds our magic. Her greatest desire is to make the world a better place by demonstrating to everyone that our everyday choices DO change the world. In her activism she has travelled from direct action wilderness activist to nonprofit leader, from sitting in an ancient cedar for three days to protest clear-cut logging to leading forest protests to creating thriving nonprofits. She now inspires mission-driven leaders to greater impact as a leadership coach, is creating a new vision for activism, and she creates photo-essays of life, love and connection in her blog “Becoming Undomesticated”.

In this show, Lea Ann and I explore the topic of death and grief... whether or not there is a 'right' way to grieve and how a clearer understanding of death can allow us to live more fulfilling, more present and happier lives.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • The linear definition of grief (as outlined in 'The 5 stages of grief') can be limiting. When we see through this definition we're freer to experience grief in a less conditioned way, we are then open to find real growth, beauty, freedom and gratitude in loss and all in our own unique time too.

  • When we're able to see death and ageing as transformation rather than something scary or wrong, we're able to see the fleeting, changeable nature of life which inspires us to make the most of our time here, to live bigger and brighter. Take that trip around the world, tell people that you love them, dance barefoot around the garden or whatever it is that takes your fancy!

  • As we honour death - and in some cultures there's traditions that are dedicated to celebrating this - we are more able to accept and embrace it fully. Whilst your culture might not have a tradition like this, you have the choice to create your own philosophy about death. How could you and your family honour death rather than fear it?

Direct download: Lea_Ann_Mallett_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:30pm EDT

This week's show is with Piers has been a personal and professional development coach since 2001, and coached 100s clients for 1000s of hours; ranging from national newspaper editors, to Sheiks in Riyadh, to international sports people. He first discovered the principles in 2009, but it wasn’t until participating in SuperCoach 2011 that he realise this was going to be a huge turning point in his life and work. Previously he had based my change work around NLP (he was a NLP trainer) Clean Language, Appreciative Inquiry, and range of others approaches and techniques. Now he is having a wonderful time exploring the Principles with his clients, both in the corporate and private client worlds.

Piers is currently in the final stages of divorce and has generously agreed to share what he's learned from going through the experience. So in this show we explore whether it's possible to go through a relationship break-up and divorce without it being a long battle of bitterness and anger.

I’d love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let’s carry on the conversation…  please leave a comment below.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • We all have our own narrative about what a relationship should be like. Recognising that that that narrative is just something we've made up (via thought) allows us to 'loosen our narrative' and be open to moving onto a different relationship with the other person, whether that's as friends, amicable exes or something else.
  • Some thinking can be particularly seductive - Piers likened it to being sucked in by the Dementors from Harry Potter! That kind of thinking can be very hard to notice that it's just thought. But it can be so helpful to notice that even the most seductive, Dementor-like thinking isn't us (just like our dreams aren't us), it doesn't last 24/7 and when we're not thinking about something, we're not feeling it.
  • We often build stories around people in our life and then continually see that person through that lens. But we can look afresh from a neutral space ('mind neutral' as Piers described it) and see the person how they actually are in this moment, without all the thinking around justification, traditional, commitment, beliefs, history and fairness. From that neutrality we have the opportunity to create a whole different relationship with them. Even knowing this neutrality exists, makes it possible for us.
  • You don't have to stick at difficult conversations if either of you are in a low state of mind. Piers gave the example of he and his ex-wife having a conversation about money and having an awareness of their state of mind. When the feeling dropped, they agreed to pause and then waited until they were in a higher state of mind before restarting the conversation. 
  • I loved the point that Piers made at the end: if you're going through a difficult break-up right now, there's probably aspects such as money or custody which don't look like they're 'just thought', but it is all made of the same stuff as everything else. You always have the opportunity to have a liberation from the way you're thinking and feeling about it at the moment.
Direct download: Piers_Thurston_on_Breakup_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:26pm EDT

This week's show is with Jim Pehkonen. Jim is a Life Architect and a Certified Transformative Coach who works in the fields of chemical addiction recovery and youth at risk. Jim works with up to 60 people in recovery weekly … making a profound difference while opening a space for healing.

In this show we spoke about how it’s possible to move on from trauma in your past.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • We all have a past but none of us are defined or limited by our past. The things that happened to you are just things that you experienced, they're not you.
  • We can't be soiled or stained by trauma our past, almost every part of us is constantly being renewed. The only place trauma exists is in our thoughts.
  • Jim spoke of the power of becoming aware of where your thoughts are putting blocks between you and love. Once we see those blocks for what they are - simply thought - we can also see that we can always reconnect to love. We always have that choice.
Direct download: Jim_Pehkonen_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 10:32am EDT

This week's show is with Jacqueline Hollows, the founder of Beyond Recovery CIC. Jacqueline works within the criminal justice system (with support staff and inmates) sharing how our experience of life is created from our own minds. Jacqueline has seen that through a fresh thought in any moment, a deeper level of common sense, connection and resilience is always available. Even in prison people are finding humour, and connection, and joy and peace of mind. If that is possible in one small section of one prison– the universal possibilities are limitless!

In this show we talk about Jacqueline's work in prisons and what she's seen about labels and diagnoses (e.g. PTSD, addict, depression, anxiety)... both how they can initially be helpful and also what's possible when we see past those labels and understand the true nature of how our minds work.

I’d love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let’s carry on the conversation… please leave a comment below.

  • What you'll learn from this episode: Labels and diagnoses can be helpful in people getting some help and also allowing them and those around them to see their psychological innocence. But this is only part of the puzzle... labels can keep people feeling broken and from moving past that label.
  • We can grow and move past suffering when we begin to see where the suffering is coming from - our own thoughts.
  • Hearing about what possible for prisoners' with very challenging life stories, a collection of labels and diagnoses, and not to mention the circumstances of being locked away in prison, shows what's possible for all of us!

 

Direct download: Jacqueline_Hollows_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 9:48am EDT

This week's show is with Lucas Rockwood, a yoga teacher trainer, digital nomad, green food junkie, and serial entrepreneur. With a formal yoga training background in Hot Yoga, Ashtanga Yoga, Gravity Yoga, and the Yoga Trapeze, Lucas has studied with some of the most well-respected teachers on the planet. Lucas founded Absolute Yoga Academy in 2006, one of the top 10 yoga teacher training schools in the world with 2,000 certified teachers (and counting) and courses in Thailand, Holland, United Kingdom, and The Philippines.

 

In search of nutritional products designed specifically for achy yoga students’ bodies, Rockwood worked with senior nutritional formulator, Paul Gaylon, and founded, YOGABODY Naturals, in the back of his yoga studio in 2007. The company has gone from strength-to-strength and is now an internationally-renowned nutrition, education, and publishing organization serving 81 countries. 

 

In this show we talk about how unnaturally most humans eat in today's modern world and what that's doing to our health, weight and energy levels. And what we can do instead! I’d love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let’s carry on the conversation… please leave a comment below. What you'll learn from this episode: 

  • When we get caught up in diet religions or paradigms (such as paleo or raw vegan) and they don't work, it's easy to give up on the approach altogether and flip back to the way they were eating before... typically the standard diet of foods which are convenient, hyper-palatable, high glycemic, low nutrient and processed, which is unlikely to be optimal for anyone. 
  • Eating a low fat and high carb diet is very common these days, whether it's a standard diet or a raw food diet but Lucas cautions that this way of eating can cause health issues in the longer term - 'a metabolic disaster' in Lucas's words. That's why many of us find that we run into health issues, sexual dysfunction, mood disorders, and weight gain as we get older even when we're eating the exact same way as we did when we were younger. 
  • The best place for most of us to start is by looking at our macros - fat, carbs, and protein. Lucas's suggests starting with eating a gram of carb for each pound of your ideal body weight, around half a gram of protein for each pound of your ideal bodyweight and then fill in the rest with the healthiest fats you can find (i.e. not yellow vegetable oils in clear plastic bottles). And experiment! Measure your blood glucose and see how your diet changes are working for you... we're all a bit different, what works for me might not work for you!
Direct download: Lucas_Rockwood_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 10:24am EDT

This week's show is with Niko Leppänen. Niko is a transformative coach, trainer and inspirational speaker. He is the founder of the UNLIMITED conference and the co-founder of the 3P-Academy Finland. 

At the age of 16 Niko suffered a rare inflammatory disease known as transverse myelitis which causes damage to the spinal cord and the central nervous system. As a result of the severity of the inflammation, he was left paralyzed from the waist down and he has been in wheelchair since.

Having had to face this kind of adversity at a such young age made him look for answer to some of the big questions about life and the meaning of everything. This search led him to study various philosophies and schools of thought before eventually coming across the Three Principles understanding as first articulated by the late Sydney Banks. For the past three years, he has been fortunate to learn about this revolutionary understanding directly from some of the most renowned teachers and trainers in the world. 

As a coach and speaker, Niko is passionate about helping individuals to realise the true source of their experience and tap into the limitless creative potential that rests within every human being. Given Niko’s background as a person with limited physical mobility, his simple message touches people in an inspiring and uplifting way. 

I’d love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let’s carry on the conversation…  please leave a comment below.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Niko realised that even after he thought that he was likely paralysed for the rest of his life, he still had good times and bad times just like before it happened. He realised that it was still possible to live an awesome life, no matter the circumstances.
  • Niko says that he came to realise that he has no idea what will happen in his life. That means it doesn't make a lot of sense trying to figure and try to control what will happen in a year or 10 years. He spoke about the quieter mind, freedom and presence that comes from being OK with not knowing.
  • Change rarely comes directly from the words we hear or read, it's in the natural process of us seeing things differently for ourselves.
Direct download: Niko_Leppanen_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:58pm EDT

This week's show is with Jonathan Mead is an irreverent pioneer, champion for human wildness and professional instigator. He quit his job at age 23 after moonlighting on his own terms. Now in his early 30s and a full-time renegade, he’s passionate about helping men reawaken the giants sleeping within them. He’s found that by helping men reconnect with nature, they discover their own true nature and wild masculine strength.

His deepest mission is to instigate a worldwide movement of wild brotherhood, focusing on helping men uncage, one at a time.

I’d love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let’s carry on the conversation…  please leave a comment below.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • When we ask ourselves the simple question "What's natural for humans and for me?" we begin to uncover all kinds of amazing answers about life.
  • We're meant to move a lot more than we typically think we are. Doing an hour at the gym or going for a run doesn't come close to getting us to how we're designed to live. Think about children you know and how they're constantly moving around - that's how we're designed to be as adults too.
  • We all have the opportunity now to ask ourselves what's natural and then to create that environment for ourselves. How we move, eat, love, think and all sorts of things are typically out of whack for humans in today's modern world but we absolutely have the option to create environment that supports a more natural way for us to live. What’s the number one change you’ll make after listening to this show - I'd love to hear what you come up with.
Direct download: Jonathan_Mead_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:42pm EDT

This week's show is with with Michael Neill. Michael Neill is an internationally renowned transformative coach and the best-selling author of five books including The Inside-Out Revolution and The Space Within, coming from Hay House on May 3rd, 2016. His weekly radio show has been entertaining and educating global audiences for over a decade and his TEDx talk, ‘Why Aren’t We Awesomer?’, has been viewed by over 100,000 people around the world.

In this show we talk about Michael's thoughts on what he describes in his latest book as 'the space within'. This space has been described in many different philosophies, religions and spiritual traditions over the ages.

In this show we explore what happens as we get in touch with this space within, the role of thought and what's possible for us when we see through our fixed beliefs about how things work.

I’d love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let’s carry on the conversation…  please leave a comment below.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • As we begin to see (or maybe a better word is 'feel'!) this space within, it allows us to see that we're made of something perfect and whole.
  • Thoughts come and go within this space and understanding this allows us to recognise the ever-changing nature of thought and allows us to get a lot less caught up in it.
  • Michael said that many people have what Michael calls a 'God phobia', which means we're so busy having a knee-jerk reaction to the word, we can't even think about it rationally because we're looking at it through the lens of what we already think we know about it.  That's also true for the word 'spiritual'. But when we lose the phobia, we're able to begin to see what's there for ourselves.
Direct download: Michael_Neill_2016_mixdown_final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 11:16am EDT

This week's show is with Mark Howard, Ph.D. Dr. Howard is a psychologist who is recognized as one of the original professionals bringing the Three Principles to psychology and related fields. Since 1982, Dr Howard has taught clients, families, business professionals, and mental health practitioners about these principles. In 1994 he brought the understanding of these three principles to the Department of Alcohol and Drug Services in Santa Clara County California. Dr Howard has co-authored a published research paper demonstrating the validity of the three principles in treatment outcome. In 2008, Dr Howard was awarded the “Outstanding Career Service” award by the Santa Clara Psychological Association.

In this show we talk about how Mark works with his clients who are suffering from depression and the freedom and happiness that he sees is true for every one of us.

I’d love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let’s carry on the conversation…  please leave a comment below.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • Any emotional state - such as depression - must start with thought. We can all see beyond our usual way of seeing things and this can happen in a moment. When that happens, years of feeling a specific way, even depression, can drop away instantly.
  • We can all have new thought that we've not had before - news ways to think about ourselves or other people. You're not limited to your brain.
  • If you're suffering from depression then first of all, make sure you're safe, reach out to someone.
Direct download: Dr_Mark_Howard_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 3:10pm EDT

This week's show is with Denise Holland. Denise is the founder of the business Class Performance – Excellence Within, based in the UK, which primarily upon inception focused on the field of high performance sport, an area she has been involved with, as a national athlete and coach for over 20 years.

Denise is a superb example of how the Three Principles, the new spiritual and psychological paradigm which was uncovered by the late Sydney Banks, can transform a person’s life. She has been so touched by the transformation in her own life that she is now dedicating her life’s work to help people.

In this show we talk about the parallels Denise has seen between great performance in sport and rocking it in other areas of life, whether that's business, parenting, relationships or anything else!

I’d love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let’s carry on the conversation…  please leave a comment below.

What you'll learn from this episode

  • Instead of focusing on behaviours, either our own or others around us, look at the nature of thought and how that brings about a feeling and therefore a behaviour.
  • Agreeing team values, house rules or company policies doesn't work well unless we understand what's really going on with our human experience, that people can only ever act according to their thoughts in the moment.
  • When we see how made-up our struggle is, we can stop trying so hard and we can drop into the effortless state of being present and playing the game of life.
Direct download: Denise_Holland_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:34pm EDT

This week's show is with Adil Amarsi, known by many as the mad scientist of advertising is a copywriting, persuasion, and influence genius. Adil Amarsi is a serial entrepreneur who's been working at his craft since he was 12.

Having grown up in a harsh home environment, dealing with bullying, bipolar depression, ADD, and dyslexia - this lead a young Adil to attempt to take his life 6 times before understanding that he was never truly happy.

Once he started studying how to be happy, he began smiling and in this podcast we're going to cover his gift, the promise he made himself at the age of 11, and what influences him today and HOW you can begin to feel happier, even in bad situations.

It's incredibly inspiring to hear the level of change that is possible for all of us - no matter what's happened in our past or what we're battling with.

Direct download: Adil_Amarsi_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:11pm EDT

 

This week's show is with Damian Mark Smyth is an award winning business coach, author, TEDx and keynote speaker. He works with Entrepreneurs with their mindset to give them more clarity, resilience and the ability to perform at their peak. His highly acclaimed and best-selling book: Do Nothing! points towards an understanding of the human dimension.

His latest book: The Entrepreneur Success Formula takes any current or would-be business owner through the elements required to succeed in business and the one key element required that separates the super-successful from the also-rans.

In this week's show we talk about that one difference between the entrepreneurs who succeed and the ones who don't.

What you'll learn in this show:

  • There isn't a magic foolproof system that entrepreneurs can use that works for everyone, every time. The difference between successful entrepreneurs and unsuccessful entrepreneurs is simply their thinking.
  • Great decisions and good ideas come from 'universal intelligence', which is built in as standard. All of us will have times where we feel this most clearly - whether it's getting a great idea in the shower or dropping into a calm, clear space when we go for a walk but actually this universal intelligence is always available to every one of us. We are built for success!
  • Damian shared how he found huge benefit from understanding how the three principles work. He recovered from his breakdown and OCD when he saw the role of his thinking in creating his experience of life, including his OCD. Damian's found that when entrepreneurs discover the three principles, that creates big changes such as less stress, better ideas, great working relationships and a clearer state of mind. This is because when we understand a system, we have more access to its capabilities.
Direct download: Damian_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:37pm EDT

This week Lian is with internationally recognised speaker and business consultant, Alex Charfen. Alex has helped tens of thousands of entrepreneurs grow their business through his insights from consulting for billionaires, the Fortune 500 and some of the most successful people in the world.

Alex is the co-founder and CEO of CHARFEN, empowering entrepreneurs to grow and scale businesses and make their greatest contribution. An in-demand thought leader on business strategy and entrepreneurship, he regularly appears in major media outlets such as MSNBC, CNBC, FOX News, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today and Investor’s Business Daily to provide his unique views and insights.

In this show Alex shares his fascinating story of going from a child described as 'retarded' and 'failing to thrive' to now running multi-million dollar organisations. He also talks about what he's discovered about the Entrepreneurial Personality Type and why this is so important to understand if you're an EPT!

Warning: This show might activate your natural thirst, you'll have to listen to find out why! :)

What you'll learn in this show:

  • If you've struggled with feeling different all of your life, if fitting in at school or work was impossible, if you've been told to stop or slow down, if you've been told you're too intense.... you're probably an Entrepreneurial Personality Type.
  • Alex talks about why society has it all wrong when it says 'different' means 'broken' when in fact, it's part of the natural design that we have this personality type because that very difference is exactly what humankind needs to innovate and move forward.
  • Momentum and flow is something we can all tune into effortlessly every day when we're in alignment with what's natural for us.
  • There's nothing wrong with you and you are not alone.
Direct download: Alex_Charfen_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

This week's show is with 'catalyst' Virginia Salas Kastilio. Virginia (or Gini), is a trilingual third culture kid, who has been to 15 different schools and has grown up all over the world. She's leading a worldwide movement of raising the collective consciousness to new levels of self love and awareness. Her brand "Ginicanbreathe" is where she shares her social art performances and conscious acts of kindness. She speaks out for authenticity and transparency in all aspects of human life. At the age of 26 she has already touched hundreds of thousands of lives with her work.

As a teen, Gini was very different to the Gini of today... she suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts and she felt disconnected and lonely. In this show, we talk about her journey from that place to the incredibly happy and grateful person that she is now.

What you'll learn in this show:

  • Most of us are born into a world of punishment and reward, or more simply... fear. Fear of not being good enough, fear of rejection, fear of being hurt. When we're freed from that conditioning into fear, we see our perfection and we fall back into acceptance and love for ourselves.
  • The power of a Cookie Monster onesie! We spoke about how playing, moving, dancing and jumping (just like we did as children) brings us back into alignment with who we really are - that natural self.
  • No situation is hopeless. Gini's story of  huge transformation shows what's possible for every one of us!
Direct download: Virginia_Salas_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 10:54am EDT

This week's show is with Mary Schiller. Mary is a coach and a survivor of domestic violence. She suffered this domestic violence for 7 years and then subsequently suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder for 23 years after she left the marriage.

Two years ago, something internal changed and now has dedicated her life to teaching others what she now knows and helping them to live in an effortlessly happy way. Today we're talking about life after domestic violence.

If you’re affected by the things we spoke about in today’s show then firstly I just want to say you’re really not alone. If you want to, you can reach out to me or Mary, via one of the links below.

Direct download: Mary_Schiller_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 11:31am EDT

This week's show is with Jonathan Raymond, former CEO and chief brand officer of e-Myth [the brand behind the massive best-selling book!) Jonathan is now the founder of Refound, a company dedicated to showing you how to build the kind of culture that offers people a benefit that far exceeds any paycheck — the opportunity to become better at being themselves.

So we’re talking about how as leaders, can we get people to do what they want. Jonathan's answering that question of "How do we get our teams to take personal responsibility?"

What you'll learn in this show:

  • The importance of the people behind the processes. Yes, great processes are super-important to creating a successful business but the culture is a massive ingredient too. And the culture of a business is not what the CEO says it is, it's the relationships between the people who work in it. Jonathan talks about how we can massively improve the culture when we're present, listening to our intuition and to the people around us.
  • The magic of transparency and vulnerability in leadership.  Jonathan said: tell them why you care, tell them what matters to you, be open, be human. That's what allows us to connect human to human.
  • Give people (our team, our children and really anyone around) us the space to learn and grow. Don't dive in and give them the answers. If you're constantly in their face, jumping in and fixing everything, you're taking away their opportunity for growth. And Jonathan said this is actually the real cause of a lot of leader's feeling of overwhelm. Let people experience the gap between where they are and where they want to be.
  • And if you're not getting the results you want, check out the system you're using to create those results. You might want to think about putting a different system, or as Jonathan says 'accountability method' if you want different results of your team to taking personal accountability.
Direct download: Jonathan_Raymond_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 11:21am EDT

This week's show is with personal coach, Dave Kibby and today we're talking about why don't we live the life we'd love to live.

Dave says that understanding the three principles allows us to return to the age of innocence. Whilst playing fancy dress is really cool, it's nice to realise that costumes and masks are all part of the game and not a prerequisite. Without them we can get closer to those around us and see each situation with fresh eyes, and all achievable with minimal effort.

So in this show, Dave shares what the three principles look like to him, and why understanding them allows us to live the life we'd love to live!

What you'll learn in this show:

  • Why we can feel completely different in the exact same circumstances. What's the missing link there?
  • Why understanding that it IS all thought, was far more powerful for Dave than understanding he could change his thinking.
  • Why our personality, our feelings, our actions, our behaviour,  are all created, moment to moment, via thought. Why don’t we live the life we’d love to life? Simply because we think we can’t.
Direct download: Dave_Kibby_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 7:01am EDT

This week's show is with coach, speaker and trainer, Ankush Jain.

Ankush was introduced to the self development world whilst at university and over the following 10 years devoured books, audios and undertook various trainings. It was when he turned 30 that he had an insight. Whilst having built a successful (albeit brief) career and reputation as a procurement specialist, he realised that his next step in his personal development journey was to help others through coaching.

He was introduced to the Three Principles in 2012 (as first described by Sydney Banks) and has built his coaching practice around sharing this understanding with his clients. He has coached men and women from a wide variety of backgrounds and helped them transform their lives beyond what they thought possible. In addition to his one on one coaching practice, he runs several online groups, and hosts the Relationship Series podcast on iTunes.

Ankush says that a few years ago, he was doing everything he thought he supposed to do and there was still something missing. He didn't take risk and he was playing it safe. He was working really hard but he knew he wasn't setting the world on fire, so he felt jealous and upset about how other people were doing.

These days he's in a very different place and is passionate about how we as humans can show up powerfully. So that's what we're talking about in this show.

What you'll learn in this show:

Ankush spoke about three instrumental stages of his journey that took him to a place of showing up powerfully:

  • Discovering "Who i really am", in other words, how our minds really work. For Ankush, understanding the Three Principles was a big part of this. It's the 'self' that's before all of the techniques, improvements, likes and dislikes.
  • Taking risks and moving outside the comfort zone but... making them small, incremental improvements that are manageable and sustainable.
  • Finding your own journey. Ask yourself: Where's your curiosity taking you? What are you passionate about? What are you already doing? What's that next one step for you?

I'd love to know what YOU think about showing up powerfully. Let's carry on the conversation...  leave a comment below or connect to Ankush via one of the links below.

 

Direct download: Kush_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 7:27am EDT

And this week's show is a real treat... I'm talking to the absolutely brilliant author, speaker, and coach Steve Chandler. Steve has a fascinating life story and in this show he shares his transformation from fearful neediness to a prosperous, happy life that he describes as 'crazy good'.

What you'll learn in this show:

Steve spoke about three different phases on his journey to money mastery:

  • 1st phase: NEED. There are no choices, life is about needing to do things simply to avoid pain and to survive.
    The beliefs at this phase: "I desperately need money to feed myself/my children. I'm helpless, I have to do this because I'm driven by my past, circumstance and other people."
    How to move on from this phase: Realise that the past doesn't define or limit any of us, we can all create from the present moment.
  • 2nd phase: COPING. Life is tough but knuckle down and it will just about be OK.
    The beliefs at this phase: "Money will always be a hassle and a struggle. I'll never be rich but I'll just about keep my head above water if I work hard enough."
    How to move on from this phase: See that freedom and possibilities are everywhere but don't trust, test. Try things out for yourself.
  • 3rd phase: MASTERY. Money is no big deal, it's like the air, it's everywhere.
    The beliefs at this phase: "There's no 'Need to', there's only 'Choose to'."
    How to move on from this phase: Why would you? Life is crazy good! :)

I'd love to know what YOU think about money, need and choice. Let's carry on the conversation...  leave a comment below or connect to Steve via one of the links below.

Direct download: Steve_Chandler_interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 5:41am EDT

I'm speaking to Caroline Frenette.  Caroline is an Intuitive Business Coach and Entrepreneur, she was the owner of two different retail businesses over ten years.

Caroline has spent the past two+ years researching the human intuitive process as it applies specifically to business building & entrepreneurship, immersing herself as a research participant in over 25 well-known business courses and conducting experimentation with her own businesses, as well as those of her clients, and investing over $100,000 to date in her quest to help business owners develop a deep inner security, confidence and strength that will transform the way they do business forever.

Caroline’s research and professional interests have led her to explore various opportunities around the world, her next venture & dream being to develop a non-profit to teach these same principles to women in developing countries how to do what she calls, “create a business from the inside out.”

Today we're talking about awakening your inner CEO and creating a thriving business from the inside out.

What you'll learn from the show:

  • Instead of simply following our passion, excitement or good feeling, regardless of red flags we notice, Caroline recommends following our inner voice. Even though sometimes our intuition is guiding us towards something that doesn't feel easy or comfortable.

  • Caroline describes our inner voice as having a clear, neutral, truth, with no feeling attached to it. Caroline says that the inner voice is completely separate to emotions like fear or feeling good.

  • We all have access to this inner voice or intuition. Caroline guided us through a short exercise to notice this for ourselves and has gifted listeners access to her 75 minute intuitive playshop Awakening Your Inner CEO.

Direct download: Caroline_Frenette_Interview_mixdown_Final_01.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 5:58am EDT

 I'm here today with Lea Ann Mallett, an activist, a mum and a leadership coach.

Lea Ann used to be a Direct Action Wilderness Activist, she did lots of big, meaningful things but now sees that some of that anger-fuelled action didn't create sustainable change. Her philosophy is now all about the power of small actions and also love in action. We're talking about the fact that every single one of us have to power to change the world for the better.

What you'll learn from the show:

  • We are all activists because we're all taking action in every moment. We can all choose to take small actions that change the world in a positive way.

  • When we internalise loving kindness to ourselves, when we're comfortable with who we are, it becomes natural for our small actions to be imbued with loving kindness. People doing ordinary things with love, taking the time to connect, becomes extraordinary. World-changing, in fact! :)

  • The ripples that we start today can go on to create huge changes through time and space. Isn't it amazing to think of the ways that people's small actions years ago have created who we are today (and how wonderful if we also have the opportunity to thank them). We all have the power to be someone else's ripple!

We'd love to know what came up for you as you listened to this show. Let's carry on the conversation...  leave a comment below or connect to Lea Ann via the link below.

Direct download: Lea_Ann_Interview__mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:30pm EDT

 

I'm speaking to Tammy Furey. Tammy is a Coach for parents, a 3 Principles practitioner, and she is currently writing a book about her unique take on gratitude.

Gratitude is a scientifically proven answer to happiness but Tammy noticed many of her clients were struggling with it. Tammy had an insight about gratitude and her passion now is sharing her understanding so it can help others. In this show, Tammy shares her philosophy about the three stages of gratitude:

What you'll learn from the show:

The misunderstanding in gratitude is offering highly conceptual forms of gratitude practice when people are simply not ready. When you are depressed, down, anxious and sad, being told that you should be grateful for your life is laughable, unhelpful and may lead you to abandon any ideas of bringing gratitude into your life. It is the equivalent of trying to put the roof on a house that is still installing the ground floor: the whole thing doesn’t fit and will collapse. This is what has lead Tammy to the Red, Amber, Green system of gratitude.

  • Red: When we're in a low state of mind, what we're able to access is so much less than usual therefore feeling grateful about high concepts like the roof over our head can feel challenging. When finding yourself at this level, Tammy suggests looking around you at the smallest things that naturally evoke gratitude in you - that could be a leaf, the sound of a bird singing, the scent of your favourite perfume, or a much-loved ornament. When we let go of the 'I should feel grateful for my marriage/health/roof over my head', we can allow ourselves to open up to the smallest things we notice that we feel grateful for.

  • Amber: At this stage, we're able to notice more things to be grateful for, quite organically and without effort so we're then able to look at the things in our lives which are a bit of a challenge for us for feel gratitude for.   Tammy gives the example of money, which many of us find a difficult topic but when we're at this stage, we can feel grateful for the gift of electricity... even when we're paying the electricity bill. :)

  • Green: When we're in our highest states of minds, that's when we are able to feel gratitude, very naturally, for all kinds of things, including high concepts like the roof over our head or our families, no matter what the external circumstances.

The system builds your understanding and allows your gratitude practice to broaden and deepen as you become open to explore the many ways gratitude can be expressed and played with. This also allows for massively cheeky contradictions and paradoxes!

 

Direct download: Tammy_Furey_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 11:19am EDT

I'm speaking to international business consultant, Robin Charbit. Robin began his career as a chemical engineer with Exxon in 1981, and eventually led one of Exxon’s international plastics businesses. He joined Arthur D. Little in 1992 first in Europe and ultimately, in Boston, where he led and managed the North American Chemicals Practice.

With a colleague, he left the more classical consulting world and founded Insight Management Partners, to bring an understanding of how the mind works into business. He then met Ken Manning and they joined forces to create Insight Principles.

We're talking about the link between psychological wellbeing and business success.

In the sports world, professionals understand the massive link between psychological state and performance however in business, usually we just want to get the job done and in less time, we're not interested in psychological wellbeing.

Robin explains how understanding the mind works is exactly what helps us to get more done in less time.

What you'll learn from the show:

  • Our natural state is that state of effortless flow and creativity - it's NOT something we have to create. We pull ourselves out of a flow state primarily through misunderstanding - attributing the outside world to causing our feelings, instead of what's going on in our own mind.

  • Ideas are gold in business... and they become so much more common when we're in a state of balance.

  • The moment that we remember that we're the thinker - that it's thought creating our feelings - the mind is then more likely to serve up a useful idea that will help us out. The more that we see that's the design of the system, we can be open to letting it all work beautifully.

Direct download: Robin_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 7:54am EDT

I'm speaking to Jason for our follow-up session how the heck self-leadership fits with the advice to 'love what is, surrender, let go and accept what is'. This is SUCH a powerful episode for anyone struggling to see how they can possibly accept a difficult situation in their life, it explains why 'loving what is' is the foundation for self-leadership.

What you'll learn from the show:

  • We can think that acceptance and loving what is, is succumbing, giving up, and saying "It's got nothing to do with me, I'm opting out!" but it's the opposite... Loving what is gives you the equanimity and the launch-pad to be a self-leader and choose to create the life you want.

  • So how the freaking hell do we love what is? As we become aware of the energy that it takes to struggle and resist something and recognise the freedom and empowerment that come from accepting it, loving what is becomes an easier and more natural choice.

  • Truly understanding something is the only way we can be in a position of making choice. When we understand the basic truths of something rather than giving it meaning. However we're human and that means we'll always bring our own filters and perspectives to situations. It's unlikely we can fully see things without personal attachment, but even being aware of that element of human nature can allow us to see more clearly.

  • Be gentle with yourself! Have fun, take things lightly, play with this stuff. :)
Direct download: Jason_G_part_2_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 9:33am EDT

I'm speaking to coach and author Dr Amy Johnson. Amy helps people to bounce back from all kinds of different events in life.

Amy's new book is out in January and is all about habits, and rather excitingly... the no-will power approach to breaking any habit. So today we're diving deep into how to break a bad habit!

What you'll learn from the show:

  • We often try to make changes by focusing right in on the habit that we want to change... from there it can be hard to see anything fresh. When we can zoom out away from the habit, we can relax and see that we're actually healthy by nature, and the habit is simply a load of thought on top of it.

  • We can think a habit is a fixed and is who we are... but we have all have had times in the past when we've been happy, at peace and habit-free or at least moments where we're not acting out on the habit.

  • The past doesn't exist for us outside of our thinking about is so how can a habit exist, outside of thoughts in this moment? We start afresh in every single moment and we don't need to put a label on that.

Direct download: Amy_2_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 5:38am EDT

Born Happy co-founder Jonathan Wilkinson is speaking to the wonderful Dave Elleray. Dave shares his surprising story of his transformation from being a deeply unhappy aggressive fearful man to an incredibly open and loving human being. And how he now travels the world to help others to change their lives too.

What you'll learn from the show:

Sometimes we can look at people who are so open and happy and think "Oh they’ve always been that way and it's just down to their genetics!" or we can think they must have had a beautiful upbringing and have an amazing family and group of friends. We can think "Happiness is for other people and not for me, I’m broken and doomed to be unhappy."

Dave's story shows how happiness can happen to the least likely of people. :)

Our ability to be open and happy is so often only limited by the self-created illusionary stories we tell ourself and the agreements we make that disconnect us from our true nature. Every single one of us was born happy and happiness is our natural state. That's just the design of the system.

In this modern world we are often sceptical about so many things, such as people we meet or stories we hear... but rarely are we sceptical about what we tell ourselves. I invite you to be sceptical of your stories and ask yourself: who would YOU be without your story?

Direct download: Dave_Interview_mixdown_Full_Final_01.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:34pm EDT

I'm speaking to Rich Habets, a highly successful executive coach and business consultant.

What you missed last week:

It was an unmissable Fly On The Wall Coaching Session between transformative coach Piers Thurston and his new client, Rachel. Rachel wants relief from her noisy, worry and anxiety-filled mind. She’s tried everything, including self-help, meditation and counselling in the past. Listen to discover what Rachel found out about where all her worries were coming from.

If you missed that then you missed out so... subscribe to the show and catch up with that episode after this show!

And on this week's show...

He says that he used to be in business for all the wrong reasons. He was focused only on money and success and he was manipulative and he gossiped, just to get the business. And he ended up burning out.

Today he does the same work, consulting and coaching (and he's successful and makes money) but he does it for the right reasons, he does it from a place of service. And he's in a much happier place!

So today we're talking about 'conscious' business - or how to make money and be successful, consciously.

What you'll learn from the show:

  • The real difference between 'How to' vs 'Want to', and why this is vital to understand if you want to be successful.
  • Why some of your 'Want to's might not be a real Want to but just doing it, testing and learning is a great way to see that for yourself - Rich gave a great example of the surprising outcome when he gave a TedX talk.
  • The power of persistence - which is a natural outcome of your service-focused 'Want to's.

 

Direct download: Rich_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:28pm EDT

What you missed last week:
It was a wonderful conversation with Molly Gordon about why a scary diagnosis doesn't have to be a scary diagnosis. If you missed that then you missed out so subscribe to the show and catch up with that episode after this show!

And on this week's show... I'm speaking to Reed Smith.Reed is the cofounder of Gulf Breeze Recovery, a non-12 step recovery center that uses the 3 Principles as the core of their program. He serves as the Director of Admissions and class facilitator.

Today we're going to be talking about the myth of complexity of recovery: why it doesn't have to be a life-long struggle and why addiction is not a disease... and why we ALL have access to mental health.

What you'll learn in this show:

  • Reed used a metaphor (and actual prop - see pic below!) of a mirror to demonstrate how we can have a denial of the 'isness' of the situation which is like trying to remove a blemish from our face by wiping a mirror. When we accept or allow the reality that's unfolding - that what we see is only a reflection of what's going on in our thoughts - we recognise that it makes no sense to look to try to fix or change the outside world to remedy how we're feeling.
    1-Screen Shot 2015-10-16 at 11.49.03
  • And in another of Reed's fabulous metaphors is around consciousness, and he used a flashlight to explain this (LOVE these props, I might start insisting all guests bring one!)The light is Consciousness, that which makes us aware of what's happening. When the flashlight is pointing above our heads at our thoughts, it's illuminating only our thoughts, which is what we're experiencing moment to moment, even though we're unaware that it's what's actually happening. When we have wonderful moments of connection with others or nature, it's like the flashlight that was only illuminating our thinking, moves to shine out to illuminate the world, and then our personal thinking grows dim and we become more aware of our connection to something bigger and greater than us.
    1-Screen Shot 2015-10-16 at 11.54.17
  • Reed's faves... The person that's most inspired Reed is also the author of the book that's most changed Reed, and it's James Allen, the author of 'As a man thinketh'.

 

Direct download: Reed_interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 8:48am EDT

Why a scary diagnosis doesn't need to be scary... with Molly Gordon

So what happened on last week's show? It was a much-talked about show the wonderful Barb Patterson about true self versus self image. we got into an interesting conversation about personality tests and profiles. If you missed that then you missed out so subscribe to the show and catch up with that episode after this show!

And this week I'm talking to the magnificent Molly Gordon has been searching for the meaning of life for as long as she can remember.

Molly's been a professional coach for a couple of decades and has trained and practised in many disciplines including Byron Katie's The Work and Jungian psychology, She now coaches from a three principles understanding.

This summer, Molly was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a mastectomy followed by radiation therapy. She is passionate about sharing with others how even modest insights into the Three Principles have enabled her to find grace and freedom in the midst of what many find to be a scary diagnosis.

 So today we're going to be talking about why a scary diagnosis doesn't have to be a scary diagnosis.

What you'll learn in this show:

  • However scary things feel, we're always sitting safely in the 'cinema seat' and simply watching the scary movie of our thoughts. I love Molly's description of that!
  • We will all be living this life, moment to moment, doing something until we die. We will all die of something. Does it matter what it is?  Isn't life really about how we live?
  • We don't have the ability to flick through a book of perspectives and pick the one that looks best... but every human being has the innate ability to have a perspective change. Our consciousness rises and then we will notice that more perspectives available to us.
Direct download: Molly_Gordon_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 6:06am EDT

How to be your true self... with Barb Patterson

So what happened on last week's show? It was a goodie... it was with Don Deacy and it's was about the desire to feel better versus trusting that we already are OK. And seriously, subscribe to the show now and then you won't miss out again!

And this week I'm talking to the amazing Barb Patterson! Barb runs a coaching and consulting company bringing the insights of state of mind & performance to clients around the world.Barb has lived and worked in Europe and the US. She has over 20 years experience as both an internal executive and outside consultant for businesses, entrepreneurs, CEOs and top executives from all regions of the world. She also mentors other coaches and practitioners.

  Today we're going to be talking about true self vs the image of who we think we are:

Who could I be?

What could I do?

Could I do more?

How could I be better?

Am I living my life to my fullest potential?

What am I striving for anyway?

If you've asked yourself these questions then this is the show for you!

What you'll learn in this show:

  • We don't need to strive to be something because all we're doing is striving for an image of who we think we should be!
  • The made-up nature of our personalities means we're not our Myers Briggs types! All of that is just thought. Really we all have a freedom to think all kinds of things and therefore there's a wide open space of who we can be.
  • Who knows what true selves really are but what Barb has seen is that left alone, our true nature always appears and that means we always blossom.
Direct download: Barb_Patterson_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 2:42pm EDT

How to feel better? It's all about unconditional trust... with Don Deacy

 

This week I'm speaking to Don Deacy. Don's a three principles coach and also a therapist with many years of experience in all kinds of healing modalities such Acupuncture, Chinese Herbal Medicine and Bowen Therapy.

After a lifetime of studying various martial arts at a superficial level Don started studying the martial art of Aikido in 1992 and teaching it in 1997. His passion for this martial art and his desire to understand 'chi', or as the Japanese call it 'ki', led to studying and qualifying in various healing modalities such as Acupuncture, Chinese Herbal Medicine and Bowen Therapy.

Initially practicing these therapies as a hobby they quickly became a passion alongside Aikido. In 2008, with the help of his wonderful wife, Don came to see that raising a family, teaching a martial art, running a part time therapy practice and working full time was just too much and something had to give way. So with the support of his wife and family Don took the decision to leave the world of paid employment and set up a full time practice as a therapist.

 Whilst working as a professional therapist Don came to clearly see the psychological dimension of illness. Feeling ill equipped to address this need he started searching for a solution. In 2011 Don was fortunate enough to come across Jamie Smart and was exposed to Three Principles understanding as uncovered by Sydney Banks. Jamie's wonderful work enabled Don to embrace this understanding and he began coaching using the Three Principles as part of his practice in 2012.

In 2013 Don completed the Three Principles Trainer’s Training (3PTT) programme run by Cathy Casey and Dr Mark Howard. As a result of Jamie's work, the excellent 3PTT and the many wonderful teachers he was exposed to over that period Don's professional direction has been profoundly changed. Coaching and teaching the Three Principles has become his primary activity and significantly influencing all the other aspects of his work.

Today we're going to be talking about the desire to feel better versus the unconditional trust that we already are perfectly OK, perfectly happy!

What you'll learn in this show:

Don and I chatted again after the show and he'd expanded further on some questions I asked during the show. And his answers actually make a great summary of some of the great things you'll learn during the show!

  • "What do I mean by grounding? Grounding is balance. An ease of movement and interaction with the world. From grounding comes the ability to flow, to extend our senses, to ride the waves, to take the knocks and keep our equilibrium."
  • "What do I mean by spiritual? Spiritual is beyond the world of form as we see it in the moment. A connection to a far greater wisdom than our personal intellect. From the spiritual comes possibility, new understanding, hope and wonder that guides us and teaches us.
  • "What do I mean by form? We can be conscious/aware of form but we can only be conscious of the the possibility within the formless. As soon as we try to be conscious of the formless we are in effect creating form.What comes to mind is a metaphor. The telescope. When we look through a telescope we see what we are looking at and that is in effect form. Now, there is much more out there than what we are looking at . What we see is what I would refer to as form. What we don't see is what I would refer to as formless. So it is possible to view form and formless as separate but that would be misleading. Form is born from the formless, as is enriched by it, like when we focus a telescope. Form is in effect our awareness which is an element of consciousness. Form is like truth in that it is time specific. The formless is infinite, it is the home of hope, of insight, of wonder, of possibility. The form is present and the home of the intellect. We can move a telescope and we can focus in and out but we must be aware that there is always more to see and what we are looking at we can always see differently.

    Form is the experience of life and the formless is the possibility of life. [mmmm, I love that! Lian]

    Form is our understanding in the moment, this is fixed and it has to be to allow us to navigate. As the saying goes, the map is not the territory, so the formless allows us to create new maps and indeed will demand that we do so. As a telescope on earth will allow us to see the universe in a certain way and depending on the location to varying degrees of clarity, the hubble telescope which is in space not only allows us to see the universe in much more detail is has demanded that we rethink everything we thought we knew about the universe!! So perhaps a shift in consciousness is like moving our telescope higher and higher into space. This must by its very nature change what we think we know about form."

Direct download: Don_Deacy_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 2:42pm EDT

This week I’m speaking to Jeff Rader. Jeff doesn’t like to be described as a coach, teacher, mentor but is coming to terms with being called facilitator but mostly just likes to be known as Jeff!

Today we’re going to be talking about recovery from addiction. Or as Jeff said… alcohol wasn’t his problem, it was his solution to the pain created by his focus on himself and  his thoughts.

 

What you’ll learn in this show:

  • Jeff talked about people need to be in touch with a higher power in order to overcome addiction and stay alive. I say that all of us need something like that, although maybe we don’t need to think of it as God or even a higher power actually. It can simply be feeling that we’re in connection to all that is, has ever been and ever will be. When we understand that we get to see that we’re not so important or responsible for making everything happen. That lack of obsessive focus on ourselves is incredibly freeing.
  • I loved how Jeff talked about accepting and appreciating of the incredible miracle of it all. When we see how awesome the design of the world is, it makes a lot less sense to whinge and moan about the tiny parts of it that aren’t quite as we’d like.
  • We talked about the core of happiness, peace and wellbeing true for all of us, it’s only our thoughts that seem as though we don’t have this. This comes up over and over on this show and it’s no surprise because it’s such a life changer when we really see this for ourselves!
Direct download: Jeff_Rader_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 9:58am EDT

 

This week I'm speaking to Phil Goddard. Phil says that whilst he could be described as a coach, but he said he could be more simply described as a Lover. :)

And it is this pure loving presence that he brings to his clients, groups, family and friends. He started coaching professionally in 2005 and transitioned from an incredibly successful career a leader in UK local and central government departments, and I.T corporations.

Swapping hard work for heart work, he brings the simplicity, power and clarity of love into many other lives and organisations, getting to the 'heart of the matter' through one-on-one coaching and coaching intensive retreats, whilst travelling around Europe and the USA. For the past decade, Phil's been evolving his work and the way he works with his clients and he's releasing more recently that it's super simple and really just comes down to love.

And today, we're talking about self-love - or how to get over yourself. :)

What you'll learn in this show:

  • Self-love isn't about treating yourself. As Phil says '...by all means have the dark Belgium chocolates, buy yourself red roses, treat yourself to a massage, get down to the gym and feast on spinach soup for lunch. Allow yourself some quiet time, say f**k it and book that holiday, have a sit down with a cup of tea, get a manicure and buy the not-from-concentrate juice.' but that isn't what self-love is. Self-love is purely about accepting yourself, as you are.
  • If you're negotiating with yourself "If I put myself through this Hell then I can reward myself afterwards." then that's not love. Reward to counterbalance judgement is not an act of love. Love doesn't involve judgement.
  • Notice the difference between how acceptance feels and how resistance feel. Can you feel that acceptance doesn't create tension?
Direct download: Phil_Goddard_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:33pm EDT

How to go from unhappy to body-painted, half-naked happiness! ...with Jacob Sokol

This week, I'm talking to Jacob Sokol, a life coach who helps twenty to thirty year olds create a life with more happiness, more fulfilment, and getting paid to do what they love.  He helps people follow their hearts while bringing their heads. Through his company Sensophy, Jacob has brought together a community of over 12,000 soul-siblings while creating a multiple 6-figure coaching biz in under 3 years. When he’s not leading retreats in Bali or coaching at home in NYC, he’s either listening to hardcore hip-hop or cuddling with his two cats.

We started the conversation with me asking Jacob how come I'd seen a photo of him half naked and covered in body paint. :) Jacob rolls back a a few years and shares his story of discovering what it really means to be a happy and fulfilled human being.

What you'll learn in this show:

  • As children were often told "This is how it is. These are the rules. This is what's important." and then most of us keep on being told that as adults. There's something inside most of us that feels that what we're being told doesn't feel right or doesn't make sense (especially given most of the adults telling us the 'right' way to live seem miserable and unfulfilled!) but it's not clear what the alternative is, or even if there is one!
  • If we stay in a situation where we're around people who believe and keep confirming our stories about who we are, it can be seriously hard to see what's true and what is simply years of beliefs and conditioning. I loved Jacob's example of how he went on his trip and then began to realise that he wasn't his thoughts.
  • Nature's taking care of business, it's just about understanding how to listen. As Jacob described it 'the universe speaks universe', the more we get in touch with who we are before all the stories about ourselves, the more we're able to hear what's good for us.
Direct download: Jacob_Sokol_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 10:45am EDT

How to feel love when you hate... with Bill Cumming

This week, I'm talking to Bill Cumming. Bill is a thirty-year coaching veteran and Director of The Boothby Institute. He has been a coach, consultant and trainer to CEOs and the executive teams of health care delivery organizations, businesses, school systems and non-profit organizations. He is a key partner in the New Horizons Academy.

Here, in his own words, is some of his story...

"I discovered the power of loving-kindness bass-ackwards as I was trying to understand where violence came from in our society. Upon the rape of one of my children, my immediate response was to want to kill. (This beautiful child, now forty, is well and is a continuing inspiration to me.) The irony of wanting to solve damage with damage hit me immediately. In my search for understanding, I met a man who’d been damaged in his youth. He admitted to me – in a maximum security prison in Somers, Connecticut – that he had killed and raped. He also, at the end of a very long day, told me he was sorry that my daughter had been raped.

I am the recipient of loving-kindness from a person who has done great damage and, regardless of any good I might have done, I am capable of great violence."

But the written word can't do justice to Bill, his story or the things he talks about in this episode so for once, I'm just going to say this...

Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever's happened in your past and whatever is going on for you now, please listen to this, I think you'll be glad that you did. :-)

What you'll learn in this show:

  • For once I'm not going to try to summarise what you'll learn from this show, you'll feel whatever you're meant to feel. So I'll just leave you with my paraphrase of something that Bill said "You're either coming from loving kindness or 'other'... that's all there is."
Direct download: Bill_Cumming_Interview_mixdown_final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:33pm EDT

How to flow when life is full of baby vomit and sleepless nights ...with Victoria Groom

 This week, I'm talking to Victoria Groom, the Flow Coach. Victoria he helps people to kick the control habit and to surrender to the flow of life.

Victoria successfully distracted herself from purposeful living for many years! She spent time in a publishing career and investment banking recruitment before 'finding' life coaching 8 years ago.

In April 2014, at the age of 41, Victoria had her first child, a daughter called Annie-Rose and amongst the usual challenges of new motherhood were breastfeeding problems, failure to thrive, tongue tie and food allergies. She feels very blessed in later motherhood, not least for the lessons in Flow it has brought!

She has been featured in Woman's Own and is currently writing a book called The Flow Paradox: How to Lose Control and Have it All, running The Flow Experiment and contributing to a forthcoming book on motherhood.

Today we're talking about falling into an effortless ebb and flow in pregnancy and new motherhood, which is often the time that it seems like the most impossible on earth (I know, I've been there!)

What you'll learn in this show:

  • As we recognise that everything is constantly moving and changing, it becomes easier to see that times of 'ebb', the times that life feels slower and less 'productive' or we need to rest more, life isn't passing us by, we're still in the flow of life.
  • We can notice the way life flows through all of us but in particular with our children, and instead of trying to fight, control, change or resist the way things are flowing, we can notice, experiment and move with it. That's a much easier and more enjoyable way to parent and to live!
  • As we get back in connection with ourselves and the world around us, we can fall back into the natural rhythms of our alignment with everything around us in all kinds of ways.
Direct download: Vitoria_Groom_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 9:14am EDT

This week, I'm talking to Rasmus Carlsson, who is a transformative coach, trainer and group facilitator and becoming quite a regular on the Born Happy Show.

Rasmus says that we're often conditioned to think that love between people means certain things - often romantic or sexual. Today we're talking about how love shows up in change work. And what it means both in coaching and teaching relationships and also, more broadly in life.

 

And we laughed too. :D

What you'll learn in this show:

  • We can misinterpret the presence or connection (or we could call it 'love') that sometimes shows up in a relationship, we can believe it must be romantic or sexual, instead of a connection that's natural for every one of us.
  • Many of the uncomfortable and painful feelings we have as adults are because we've been conditioned to be so closed, but we were born with everything we need to have a fabulously happy and connected life, so as Yoda said "You must unlearn what you have learned."
  • Rasmus likened love to this great quote from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: "There is an art to flying, or rather a knack. It's knack lies in learning to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, that presents the difficulties." As Rasmus said love is about throwing yourself at it, let go and not being afraid of getting hurt - because it's actually impossible to be hurt. As Rasmus said: being hurt is just an idea.
Direct download: Rasmus_Carlsson_Love_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 9:29am EDT

The super power of loving kindness... Katie Abbott

Katie Abbott is a therapist and coach, she's been running the Lewis Clinic in Harley Street for the last 8 years, runs retreats abroad and events in London. She's written for The Guardian, Observer, and Psychologies Magazine.

Katie is passionate about giving people the experience of being welcomed, accepted and loved. She enjoys exploring the space beyond words. In this episode we're talking about the super power of loving kindness.

What you'll learn in this show:

  • We are born with our hearts wide open and therefore we're able to connect beautifully to others. As we grow we're surrounded by people who are telling us, one way or another, that we need to close up to be safe. As we remember our true nature, we begin to open again and realise that this is actually much safer way to be (that's if we consider that having a full, rich, creative and loving experience of life is something worth having!)
  • We're all the same and we all have the same need for connection. It's easy to get caught up in the differences between us but they're just superficial. There's a place or an essence of us all that goes way beyond the psychological and physical, and that's something that connects us all.
  • We're often taught conditional love and therefore don't believe that we're worth being loved unconditionally but we all have the same loveability! We all have the potential to be touched by love and to live from love.
Direct download: Katie_Abbott_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 10:35am EDT

How to stop searching for your sexy self!.. with David Andersson

This week I'm speaking to transformative coach and speaker David Andersson. David works with clients in a range of
situations from people in psychiatric wards to people who are feeling disillusioned with life or their relationship and want something more.

David and I are talking about how many people are looking for more connection, be confident, to be more attractive. They're searching for self-esteem, self-confidence, and actually just self.

So today we're exploring why that search for self isn't sexy... :)

What you'll learn in this show:

  • The search for confidence and attractiveness makes complete sense when we don't see that they're not 'out there' or something we need to develop. This search is understandable and very innocent when we misunderstand this,
  • It can sometimes appear that we then need to go on a whole 'nother search inside. That can lead to techniques, affirmations and mantras - to somehow find or access a space. When really, the only thing that's between us and that space is the thought-created illusion that we're not already there.
  • So how do we settle down, open up and let our natural awesomeness flow out? There's no way or need to do this. It's all about understanding. It's simply that the more we understand how we're born to connect with others beautifully, the more the stuff that gets in the way of that connection falls away. 
Direct download: David_Anderson_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 3:01pm EDT

This week I'm speaking with Garret Kramer. Garret's the author of the books Stillpower and The Path of No Resistance and is the founder of Inner Sports which provides mental conditioning, consulting,
and crisis management services to hundreds of athletes, coaches, and business leaders. Garret's been featured lots of times on television and in papers like The NY Times and the Wall Street journal.

In this show we explore Garret's belief that deliberate mental techniques or strategies used to improve performance (or find peace of mind, happiness or any of those things) are ineffective.

What you'll learn in this show:

    • Why thinking yourself into flow just won't work. The more we try to fix, strategise or control our thinking - the more we get in the way of flow, happiness, and ease.
    • Why recognising the way thoughts create feelings is the 'benchmark'. Understanding this connection is what opens the door to making performance effortless.
    • We all work the same way. We all get caught in the illusion of our feelings coming from outside circumstances from time to time. And we don't need to do anything to fix that. Awareness itself has a powerful effect - we see that we don't need to correct anything on the outside, our thinking will continue to flow and therefore feelings will change naturally.
Direct download: Garret_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 8:27am EDT

This week I'm speaking with the utterly wonderful coach and trainer Kate Barsby, who I'm also proud to say is a grad of Happy School. Four years ago, Kate lost her baby daughter Eliza, and that experience led to Kate having some profound realisations about the nature of love, life and what it means to be human. Kate has been so generous in sharing her experiences with us here.

A little warning from me: This a beautiful conversation, full of love, gratitude and hope but because of the topic that we're talking about, I don't think this is going to be a good time to listen to this if you're currently expecting a baby.

 

Direct download: Kate_Barsby_Interview_Final_02.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 7:45am EDT

The wonderful things that cancer showed me about life... with Bart Loos

This week we're exploring questions of life, death, pain, suffering and reality with someone who has seen more about these things than most.

Bart Loos shares his incredibly inspiring story of recovering from cancer and how that has shown him some very interesting things about the link between the mind and body and what that means for our experience of life.

In this episode you'll learn:

  • How we're all living within our own reality bubble - during the experience of being diagnosed, treated and recovering from cancer, Bart saw more and more clearly how that experience was being created by his own bubble of thought and the same was true for everyone around him.
  • What happens when give up control - the cancer forced Bart to give up the constant battle for control over life that he and most people are fighting. Once he let go of that battle, he noticed that his mind was filled with much less fearful thinking and that he could make decisions from a calmer, more settled down place.
  • We ALL have access to this place of calm and clarity - what Bart talks about is true for every human being, including you.
Direct download: Bart_Loos_interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 3:27pm EDT

This week we're exploring a fascinating question that's relevant to all of us... what are we really capable of? What's the true potential of humans?

I'm exploring this with Ian Watson, who is an author, trainer and consultant. Ian's got soooo much experience in the field of  natural health and personal transformation. He's covered more ground in his quest to uncover the full potential of humans than most people would manage in several lifetimes!

We cover a lot of ground in this episode: why self-help techniques seem to stop working, how change really happens, what's going on with consciousness, happiness, the call to adventure and more. This is one of my favourite shows. :)

In this episode you'll learn:

  • We attribute positive change to a self-help technique and then think if we do more of that technique, we think we'll improve further (which is rarely the case). Alternatively we go on to look for a new technique and start the cycle again. Recognising the real cause of positive change - an internal shift in perspective - means that we're less likely to go around in circles with technique after technique.
  • Ian says that we continue to grow in consciousness over our lifetimes. We outgrow old ways of thinking, we start banging up against the edges of our beliefs and then we start to look for ways to create space for new ways of thinking.
  • We can fulfil potential when we respond to the call to adventure instead of retracting through fear (Ian quotes Joseph Campbell' 'The refusal of the call for adventure' here). The unknown isn't a scary place - it's the place where everything that we're looking for resides.
Direct download: Ian_Watson_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 8:01am EDT

How to parent teens the happy way... with Jacquie Forde

This is the second show we've done with the fabulous social entrepreneur, coach and business woman Jacquie Forde. I knew she'd be amazing to speak to on the topic of parenting teens and older children and flipping heck... she didn't disappoint!

Jacquie is married with three daughters and here she shares how she was always searching for the answer to be the best parent she could be and then when her eldest daughter was 17, she discovered something that transformed her approach to parenting.

Jacquie shares some incredibly touching and inspiring stories of how their family has changed for the better over the last few years. Yes, there were tears for both us. :)

Here were my best bits:

  • Having an awareness of how thoughts and feelings really work has not just transformed how Jacquie parents her daughters but it's also given them far more resourcefulness and resilience.
  • Giving up the belief that we have to be right all the time as parents makes for a much easier, closer relationship with our children. 
  • Jacquie shared a story about one of her daughters learning from a bad experience with alcohol - given the love, trust and the space, our children will learn the lessons they need to learn for themselves.
Direct download: Jacquie_Forde_Parenting_Interview_Edited_version.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 7:43am EDT

How to give children a super start in life... with Piers Thurston

Piers is a top personal and business and is a father to two children - in this episode we explored how his understanding of 'quality of mind' has affected his parenting and has helped him to give his children a great start in life.

Here were my fave bits:

  • Children are a great reminder to us of how we were born happy!

  • Even when we have an understanding of how our minds work, we'll still get caught up in thought from time to time. That's just human and the more lightly we take those times, the more fleeting they seem to be.
  • Preparing our children to live the game of life entails showing them that it is a game and our best chance of playing it happily, is to be open-hearted and open-minded.
Direct download: Piers_Thurston_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:57pm EDT

How to home school the happy way... with Stuart Norman

Stuart Norman is a Transformative Coach and teacher of the 3 Principles understanding.  Stuart and his wife have been enjoying home schooling his daughter since last year so I thought he'd be a great person to speak to about how parenting can be a lot easier and more pleasurable than parents often believe is possible.

I loved Stuart's metaphor that life is more like a game of snap than the game of chess that we sometimes act like it is! This applies to life in general but has been particularly helpful for him and his wife in their approach to home schooling:

  • We're not in control - life will play out in its own way, and that goes for our children too.
  • We don't know what the future holds - understanding that means we worry less about how we can make our children conform to our view of what we'd like their future to be like.
  • Learning (and life in general) is meant to be fun! :)
Direct download: Stuart_Norman_Interview_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 10:43am EDT

Steve Light suffered with anxiety from a very young age and then discovered something that changed his experience of life for the better. Steve's passionate about helping others to free themselves from anxiety and other mental health issues and has founded self-help groups and creates online resources.

Steve was his usual beautifully honest self, here's were the key points:

Searching for the answer
Steve thought if he looked hard enough he would find the reason for his anxiety in his genetic make-up, his biochemistry or maybe his past. He didn't find the answer until he discovered that his anxiety was coming from his thoughts moment to moment.

The addiction to self-help
Steve tried lots of courses, including NLP and other selp-help techniques, to try to rid himself of anxiety. He found each of them gave a temporary improvement before he went back to feeling anxious again but that was enough for him to attend course after course in the hope something would help.

Beliefs vs understanding
Steve's finally let go of the beliefs he had about being 'an anxious person' when he began to understand the ever-present underlying calm and happiness beneath his thoughts.

 

Direct download: Steve_Light_Interview_mixdown_Final_02_01.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 3:00pm EDT

The best parenting questions in the world... with Jack Pransky

 I'm delighted to share this conversation with the utterly wonderful Jack Pransky about a subject he is awesome on: parenting.

Dr. Jack Pransky is a Three Principles Author, Trainer and Practitioner: a Coach of Coaches and a Counselor of Counselors. Jack's worked in the field of prevention and community organizing since 1968. He wrote the fabulous parenting book "Parenting from the heart" which I highly recommend.

Jack talked about these questions to ask ourselves when we're speaking to our children:

  1. Am I feeling love in my heart in the moment?
    If I'm not, now is not the time to discipline.
  2. What is my child learning from what I'm doing?
    Is that really what I want my child to learn?
  3. How am I seeing my child in the moment?
    I am the one who is making up what my child is like in this moment - and I'll get more of what I see.
  4. Why is it important to me that my child does this thing I'm asking?
    Why would this be important to my child?
  5. Do I really know what's going on in the mind of my child that driving the behavior?
    How can I observe and listen to better understand?
Direct download: Jack_Pransky_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 2:31pm EDT

How to treat anxiety... with Chris Morris

Chris is a well-known coach and a meditation teacher who suffered from anxiety from childhood and has spent years exploring a tonne of different self-help techniques and 'thought-based' approaches to understand how to treat anxiety.

Chris didn't shy away from being his usual naughty self. :) Chris said things which are a bit contentious but we wanted to give you a different view point to many of the guests we have on the show.

Chris doesn't solely work with his clients using a three principles approach, he uses other techniques and approaches (including A Course in Miracles, meditation, Byron Katie's The Work, and NLP) to treat anxiety in his clients. Techniques like this can work well in a one to one setting, when the coach has the level of understanding that Chris has.

These were the main points:

  • Our sense of self is built around the beliefs that we've decided define us
    We cut ourselves off from certain types of experiences, beliefs or types of thoughts - often without realising we're doing it. Sometimes we've experienced things in our past that have scared us so we shut down that part of us then we're only able to experience life from within the frame of thoughts that we haven't cut ourselves off from. If what we're left with is anxious thoughts then that will be our experience of life.
  • The actors that we cast
    We are entities made up from a collection of thoughts. We cast a character in a film but then we forget and let the character run the show, we forget that the one watching the character is us!
  • We can't see what we can't see
    We tend to have no clue about the underlying beliefs we have about ourselves and the world. We're only aware of the thoughts we're aware of - which sounds obvious but is something that we forget moment to moment. If we can find a way of holding up a mirror to ourselves, which could be through talking to a coach or a good friend, we get a glimpse of the beliefs that we have.
Direct download: Chris_Morris_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 8:15am EDT

On this week's show I get to speak to the fabulous Jill Whalen. Jill is a professional conference speaker, trainer and writer, she's a retired website marketing consultant who underwent a huge transformation from being a bit of a coach potato with an allergy to vegetables to someone who is now into yoga, running, spirituality, and healthy eating! Jill now shares her experience of personal and business transformation with others.

Before Jill came across the three principles, she'd suffered with years of anxiety so I thought she'd be a super person to speak to see what's changed for her and how that change happened!

Jill was great! These were my best bits:

  • Anxiety is so often caused by not feeling good enough. That feeling often leads to all kinds of addictions too - basically ways of making us feel better about ourselves. It's so freeing when we see that it's only thought making us feel not good enough and we're actually always perfect inside
  • Just start to look inside and you'll realise that it's NOT the outside world creating your feelings! That can be difficult to begin with as the ego can have a tight hold on you but the more you notice that your feelings are coming from thought, the more layers of 'ego slime' drop away
  • Start noticing how made up all your labels are. Jill talked about realising that she'd made up all these beliefs about herself - that she couldn't sing in public or that she hated healthy foods - seeing the thought-created nature of her labels, was a big clue to the thought created nature of her experience.
Direct download: Jill_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 11:47pm EDT

Amazing relationships are natural

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I was thrilled to speak to the wonderful Rudi and Jenny about how it's so natural for us to have amazing relationships very naturally as we see the role of Thought in our relationships. Rudi and Judy are Three Principles Facilitators and film-makers who have been travelling the world, interviewing other facilitators, teachers and people who have had their lives transformed through understanding the principles.

They were as fabulous as ever, these were my best bits:

  • It can seem that we're a type of person, e.g. a jealous person or a person with a temper
    Jenny talks having a blind spot when it came to her jealousy - she could see that her feelings were coming from her thinking in every area except her jealousy. She described it as thinking she must just be a jealous person and that was fixed. Over time she began to see that her jealousy was just a thought too. That's the case with pretty much any trait you can think of.
  • The biggest relationship change is the one we have to our own thinking
    Jenny described how the biggest change in their relationship, has actually been the relationship that each of them have with their own thinking. Sometimes we can be wrapped up in thought and thinking it looks and feels real, and other times we see that our feeling are coming from thought. The more we see through the illusion of thought, the less worried we get about the content of our thinking and the more we see it's just thought.
  • We can't have a relationship without thought being included
    I loved Rudi's phone metaphor - just how we can't have a phone conversation without the intermediary of the phone, we can't have a relationship, conversation or any kind of interaction without the intermediary of our own thoughts. The more we recognise the intermediary of thought is always present, the less seriously we take the thoughts which are getting in the way with connecting with the other person.

  • What about when we have different goals or values to our partner?
    Jenny spoke beautifully about the conversations they'd had over the years about big decisions such as whether to have children. They've been able to have some very honest, open conversations from a neutral place which has allowed them to move forward through life without needing the other person to have the same opinion.

     

Direct download: Rudi_and_Jen_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 9:59am EDT

This week we get to be a fly on the wall to a coaching session between certified transformative coach John El-Mokadem and his new client Kate. Kate would like coaching around some issues in her relationship.

There were so many gems here about handling relationship issues, here were my favourites:

  • Does the past create our relationship problems in the present?
    Kate feels angry that she's made decisions in her relationship because of trauma in her past and maybe she would have chosen a different life, if it hadn't been for her past. John explained that the anger would make sense if it was being caused by Kate's circumstances and not by Kate's 'noisy thinking' about her circumstances.
  • That laundry list of things that need to happen before we'll feel OK
    We can believe there's a whole load of things that we need to happen in our relationship (or life in general) before we'll be OK. As we recognise that the laundry list is just more noisy thinking we see that we already have everything we need to be OK.
  • How do we cope with a noisy mind?
    We don't need to quieten our minds, ignore our thinking or try to change it, when we recognise that the noise is simply just thinking.
  • What about when we want different things?
    The more we see that our wellbeing always comes from inside, the more freedom we have to watch how life unfolds without getting so caught up in our thoughts about needing life to be a certain way so we can be happy.
Direct download: Kate_Smith_John_El_Mokadem_Interview_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:27pm EDT

I'm talking to Sheela Masand and Mark Jones (aka Yoga Mark!) about what creates a happy relationship. Sheela's a business coach and Mark's founder of Ice cream For The Soul, a brilliant blog talk radio show about the three principles.

They've been together for 11 years, and they talk very honestly and openly here about how their relationship has transformed over the 5 years since they've discovered the principles. And how your relationship problems are not about the sponge in the sink - it's about your thoughts about the sponge in the sink. ;)

Here were my best bits:

  • We're all looking for connection - but misunderstand where it comes from
    Sheela talked about how the connection that creates a happy relationship is something that's very natural to us - once we understand the nature of thought and how it can create the illusion of disconnection
  • How our insecure thinking gets in the way of listening
    When we're caught up in thoughts of trying to fix an issue or come up with a solution for our partner - that's often behaviour driven from insecure thoughts. When we can let go of those thoughts and simply listen to our partner, we stand a far better chance of connecting to them.
  • Our feelings are our guide
    When we notice that we're feeling irritated or angry that it's simply pointing to our thoughts in that moment, and that means it's probably not a great idea to act on them!
Direct download: Sheela_Masand_Interview_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:34pm EDT

What is anxiety?

Show notes:

I'm thrilled to be talking to Dicken Bettinger about: What is anxiety and is it possible to be freed from it?

Dicken is one of the few people who was taught directly by Sydney Banks, the man who discovered the principles. Dicken trained as a Pyschologist and for the almost 30 years, he has taught the three principles. He has helped many people to free themselves from anxiety and return to happiness.

Before understanding the principles, Dicken himself used to suffer from extreme anxiety and used to have a zillion techniques and meditated for hours a day to attempt to alleviate it.

All in all, there really isn't anyone on the planet that I can think of who is better placed to speak to about anxiety!

So... what is anxiety?

The dictionary definition of anxiety is: "A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome"

Dicken explained that almost every one of us experiences moments of anxiety - that's not a problem in itself, it's just being human and is a function of how our thoughts create our feelings of anxiety.

Dicken's answer to 'What is anxiety', in terms of anxiety being a problem in someone's life, is that it's when we misunderstand where our anxiety comes from - when we believe that our anxiety comes from outside events such as:

  • The situation we're in
  • Our problems
  • The people we're with

And then become anxious about the fact that at any moment something can happen to trigger the anxiety. We become anxious about our anxiety.

Dicken describes his past experience of anxiety like "I never knew when the world was going to make me feel bad." and feeling like life was akin to walking in a field of landmines, waiting for one to blow up.

We can believe the label of being an anxious person - someone who is, whether by nature or nurture, predisposed to anxiety - but Dicken has never seen this to be accurate for any of his clients.

Fundamentally, anxiety is simply an misunderstanding of why we feel anxiety - and then feeling anxious about the prospect of more anxiety.

Is it possible to be freed from anxiety?

Dicken talks about us not needing to work hard to look for freedom from anxiety when we see we already have what we're looking. Dicken described these steps that are helpful to understand this:

Step 1. Recognise that 100% of your experience is created by thought 

All of our feelings are being created by our thoughts  in that moment.

This is direct contrast to what we're taught - e.g. that stressors cause stress. It's also contrary to how things look - if you're in a room and feeling good but someone walks in the room and you feel anxious, it's a very convincing illusion that your anxiety is being caused by the other person.

When we see that our experience is coming from thought, it's the beginning of us letting go of the misunderstanding that's creating the anxiety problem.

Step. 2 Seeing that a new thought will free you from the anxiety created by the current thought

When we wake up to the nature of thought, we're open to a new thought flowing through - and thereby creating a completely different feeling.

This is the opposite to to what we tend to do - which is to focus MORE on the anxious thought that has created the anxious feeling. We try to identify it, fix it and change it - all the more we continue to think about - and therefore feel - anxiety.

When we wake up to what's really happening we focus more on our wellbeing than anxious thoughts.

Step. 3 Understanding that we all have potential for infinite wisdom and wellbeing

We're not limited to the boundaries of our physical brains, we all have a connection to infinite potential - more happiness, more love, more connection, more clarity, more creativity, more peace - when we look toward the non-conceptual space that's before our personal thinking.

Direct download: Dicken_Bettinger_interview_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 10:24am EDT

Overcoming a fear of failure

This week we get to be a fly on the wall to a coaching session between transformative coach Rasmus Carlsson and his new client Anne around how to conquer her fear of failure. These three principles coaching sessions have proved to be hugely helpful both for the client and also listeners so I'm delighted to be able to share another of these gems!

Anne has a huge passion to create a business and with a non-profit element to help young people (particularly vulnerable children who are at risk) to discover their value and worth.

Anne feels held back by her fear of failure - she has concerns around leaving her steady job, not managing to maintain her family's current stability and lifestyle, and the risks and  responsibilities of this kind of venture.

What I loved most in this episode:

  • What ifs
    Anne talked her "What if...?"s - her big two are "What if I don't do a great job?" and also "What if I can't create an income?" These kind of 'What if' thoughts often prevent us from moving forward with life changes because we take these thoughts seriously, assuming they're keeping us safe - it can be so interesting and useful to pull those thoughts out into the light to enable us to see them afresh.
  • Where does fear of failure come from?
    Anne described how her fear came from giving energy to beliefs about herself. Rasmus and Anne explored how what's happening is much simpler than that - our feeling of fear comes purely from whatever we're thinking about in that moment.
  • Our feelings don't have to mean anything
    Our feelings are only telling us what our thoughts are doing. Emotion are simply our body's system for pointing us to the content of our thoughts - we find it easier to be aware of feelings than our thoughts. We don't need to act on feelings or take our thoughts seriously.
Direct download: Rasmus_Fly_on_the_wall_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 10:20am EDT

This week I'm talking Louise Storey about the way she's managing to have that rare balance of taking care of her family as well as having a fulfilling life creating and doing things out in the world. Louise is a co-founder of the Clear mind Academy which helps carers within education, social and healthcare organisations.

Louise describes herself as a recovered stressaholic, she had a successful career in IT and then gave it up focus on her family and to care for her son Jack, who  has learning disabilities. Since discovering the three principles, Louise has a life of happiness, creativity and ease.

Louise made so many brilliant points, many of which I'm sure you'll relate to. These were my faves:

  • Working towards achieving happiness in the future
    Louise talks about something that seems so common these days: how she was postponing her happiness in the present moment so she could work towards achieving happiness and success in the future. She's since realised that the only place happiness can exist is right here and now.
  • Feelings are a symptom not a diagnosis
    When we are you feeling stressed, sad or angry - that's not a diagnosis that we're a stressed, sad or angry person... our feelings are simply a symptom of your thought in that moment. I LOVED that point so much that I posted about it on our Facebook page, where it seemed to resonate with many of you.
  • Pleasing everyone but not pleasing anyone
    Louise describes how her life used to entail running around, trying her best to please everyone in her life, to meet their expectations (and hers) of what a good parent, daughter, wife, friend and colleague should be like - but feeling she was failing, and damaging her own health in the process. Since discovering the three principles, Louise has settled down into feeling happy in her own skin and knowing that just being fully present with the people in her life is creating more pleasing relationships than she's ever experienced.
Direct download: Louise_Story_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:12pm EDT

This week I'm talking to Innate Wellbeing Facilitator Mandy Spray on the subject of caring, learning disabilities and the three principles. Mandy's got a beautiful rock solid belief that every single one of us has innate mental wellbeing and happiness.

Mandy gave some gorgeous examples and made some excellent points, these were my faves:

  • Looking at someone isn't the same as connecting with someone
    Mandy talks about spending time with someone in a way where you can let go of your own preconceived ideas and beliefs so you can drop into the same space as the other person, 'be' with them, listen and connect.
  • Notice what's happening when we are connecting with someone
    We'll all have times when we do feel naturally present and connected with another person, when our thoughts settle and our minds are clear. Noticing that you have that as one of your possible states is a great step towards it appearing more!
  • We all have our own unique beauty and talents
    When we look for the potential, the unbroken-ness, wellbeing, and the gifts, we are sure to find them. Mandy gave some lovely examples of the opportunities that come from people being able to see this in others.
Direct download: Mandy_Spray_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 9:07am EDT

Show notes:

Yippeee! This week I speaking to expert on care and special needs, comedienne and all round super star Sarah Wood. Sarah has spoken and trained internationally on health care and social services professions - her passion is helping carers and professionals see past issues and limitations to the whole person and their unique potential.

Her son Adam has learning disabilities and has a full life of work and friends, he is a wonderful example of what's possible when we see a person for who they truly are.

I loved these points in particular:

  • When our heads are full of angry, stressful thoughts there's no room for the solutions
    It's so useful to know how easily answers come from a calm, settled down mind as it can help us let go of our agitated thoughts more quickly.
  • The relationship is everything
    When we prioritise our connection with someone, there's nothing that can't be overcome.
  • Listening in the way that the other person speaks
    Sarah talked about her son Adam drawing a picture which expressed that he'd like to have a friendship with a boy he'd lost contact with - that lead on to all kinds of wonderful outcomes for both families.
  • Start with yourself
    You can't give anything that you don't have yourself - you need to have self-worth to be able to share that with someone else. Sarah suggests taking the first step onto the path to rediscovering happiness and clarity yourself before you try to help the person that you're caring for.
  • You're doing the best job possible
    Even when life feels tough and you feel like you're failing, you're damn amazing - there's no-one who could do better than you are.
Direct download: Sarah_Lynn_Wood_Interview_Final_mixdown_01mp3.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 5:21am EDT

A gorgeous conversation about another way to have a happy Christmas! Jacquie Forde is a social entrepreneur, coach, business woman, mum to three gorgeous tenacious daughters, wife and friend. She's a delight!

Here's my favourite parts:

  • Drop the differences!
    There's no right way to celebrate Christmas or to be - when we drop our judgemental thoughts of how others are different, the more we're open to enjoying everyone's unique, quirky, funny ways of being and the happier we are.
  • Nothing's personal
    Whether it's the present they've chosen, the food they've cooked, they way they're choosing spend their time or they way they're behaving - they're doing our best according to they're thoughts in that moment (just as you are!)
  • We can choose the illusions we keep
    When we see we're creating our reality through thought, we realise it's all an illusion. Some illusions serve us and others and some don't. What a gift it is when we see that we can let go of the illusions which are getting in the way of us connecting and enjoying other people!
  • The present of being present!
    When we're not getting tangled up in thoughts about stress, anxiety and all the things we wish were different, we can be really present to the happiness, joy and love that's in that moment. Is there any better gift we can give to ourselves and others?
Direct download: Jacquie_Ford_Interview_mixdown_Final_Edit.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 9:13am EDT

I'm delighted to share this fabulous conversation with Dr Amy Johnson! Amy's a coach and author, and she helps people to see that they're born happy and helps people to bounce back from all kinds of life events.

Today we're talking about getting through christmas (or any family get together) with humour and understanding. Amy is seriously wonderful!

Here were my best bits:

  • Dysfunctional family bingo!
    Amy talks about playing this game with someone else in the family who you're close to. You both create a bingo card of the things you're dreading happening - maybe that's your Grandma mentioning your weight, your dad drinking a few too many whiskeys and being inappropriate or your sister being a drama queen - and then when you're at your family event, you check off the situations on your card as they happen. I love how this simple game can allow us to see something more deeply - any relationship is only ever about our relationship to our thoughts about relationship.
  • Freeing ourselves from the 'blueprint' of how we think relationship should be
    The more acceptance we have for how a relationship is, we lose our grip on the blueprint of how we think the relationship should feel. That means we become open to all kinds of surprising ways that it could develop and change.
  • The fluidity of thought
    No relationship (or anything else in life) is fixed. All relationships will feel differently according to our thoughts in each moment. That's a useful thing to bear in mind as it allow us to see that everything can change.
  • Have a compassionate Christmas :)
    When we recognise that everyone is in a sea of thought, and we're all doing our best within that, it allows us to be more compassionate towards ourselves and others. Even when things feel difficult, we'll know that everything's still working the same way for all of us and it's just that we're not able to see it too clearly in that moment.
Direct download: Amy_Johnson_Interview_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 3:20pm EDT

What a treat it was speaking to transformative coach Rasmus Carlsson about family relationships! Rasmus has such a great down to earth approach and a super-clear understanding of the role of the three principles in how we experience life. He shares such personal and detailed examples here that I defy anyone to listen and not hear something that's useful!

Here were my favourite points:

  • Other people's perspective on us are their business
    "What someone else thinks is never going to be up to me." The only thing that can make us unhappy is when we don't accept reality as it is - we think we can change the way someone else thinks about us.


  • Why do we try to control other people's thinking when we can't control our own?
    We don't choose our thoughts. Seeing that helps us to be more compassionate towards ourselves and others because we see that no matter how bad a thought or a behaviour looks, it makes no sense to judge it when we see that no-one chose it.


  • Being compassionate doesn't mean being a doormat
    When we recognise that 'their stuff' isn't about us, it's about them, it means we have access to our natural happy, calm state in which we're going to be much more able to deal with a situation well. That doesn't mean being passive, it means not being reactive. It only takes one of us to calm down and listen, and the other people will often begin to calm down and listen too.


  • There are no 'should's
    There's no one way we should be in relationships or life in general. When we can more easily spot our insecure thinking about worrying about what others will think about us, the 'should's begin to lose their grip on us. When we let go of our 'should's we become open to all kinds of other opportunities and experiences.
Direct download: Rasmus_Carlsson_on_2014-11-18_mixdown.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 9:25am EDT

[custom_headline type="left, center, right" level="h2" looks_like="h3" accent="true"]Show notes:[/custom_headline]

I loved this conversation with Sue Lachman about listening - I was mind-blown about how much there was to talk about on this one subject! Listen to this and learn the transformative power of really listening... such an easy way to happy relationships!

Here are my best bits:

  • Prioritise listening fully
    We tend to think we can multi-task far better than we actually can! Put everything down so you can properly connect to the other person, listen fully and really feel what's behind their words.
  • Listening is about the other person's experience
    If someone's talking about something that's going on in their life and we notice we've taken ourself off into our own world of thinking about a similar event in our own life then we'll know that we've stopped listening to other person. Use that as a little nudge to bring yourself back to listening again.
  • We're all creating our own separate reality
    Even when we sharing an experience of the same event with others, each person will be creating their own experience of that event through their own thoughts. If we attach ourselves to own thoughts about the event we won't be so open to really hearing the other person's thoughts on it. Let go of the meaning you're giving to your version of events so you can hear theirs.
  • When we feel that the other person isn't treating us fairly
    When we feel that we're not being heard in a relationship, we can become defensive and shut down from even wanting to listen to the other person. If we're feeling in a low mood and feeling very disconnected to the other person, it's probably NOT the best time to have a conversation. If we wait until we're feeling lighter and more connected, not only are we are more likely to be able to fully hear what's going on for them, we'll be calm and clear which means that others are going to be more able to open up and listen to us too.
  • Nothing stays the same
    Without us doing a thing, thoughts change and therefore feelings change and therefore relationships change. This one isn't about listening but I thought it was a gorgeous point anyway!
Direct download: Sue_Lachman_Interview_mixdown_01.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 3:21pm EDT

In this final episode about dating I’m talking to coach and trainer Peter Fallenius about the myths of seduction.  Peter has an unusual take on seduction. He was dumped from a long term relationship and as he launched into the world of dating again he realised that all his old ideas about what works in dating and seduction was flawed. He spent time observing and researching what really makes people tick and he realised that the standard take on seduction is kinda messed up.

We covered rather a lot of ground! Here are the key points:

  • Replace ‘dating’ with ‘meeting’
    Peter spoke about meeting people without the expectations of certain things needing to happen in order to make it a ‘successful’ date. He approached his meetings with an open-ness about simply whether he could enjoy the time with the other person.
  • All relationships are day-to-day, moment-to-moment
    Approaching relationships with a fresh mind, without making promises (even to ourselves) that we can’t keep
  • The illusion of needing to seduce
    Seduction and ‘pick-up’ techniques are based on manipulation and deception and ultimately leads to more disconnection. They’re also based on a misconception that people need to be manipulated into wanting connection. People want to be seduced – and will be open the moment you offer them the genuine possibility of connection, opportunities and understanding.
  • Let’s talk about sex (eek!)
    Peter’s experiences from talking to lots of people about sex has shown him how our beliefs about sex underpin so much of what we think and do in all areas of our lives. If we can be open to seeing something new about our thoughts about sex then we may well discover things that will help us make sense of why we have the thoughts that we do about all kinds of other things. The book Peter mentioned is My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday.
  • Opportunities come from uncertainty
    Embrace uncertainty! Understand that great things often come from a place of not knowing what could happen.

 

Direct download: Peter_Fallenius_mixdown.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 3:49pm EDT

This is one of my fave episodes... I'm speaking to Sarah Abell about happiness in dating from a three principles perspective. Sarah's a speaker, author and coach. She was the Agony Aunt for the Daily Telegraph and she's a regular columnist for Psychologies magazine. Sarah's given two TEDx talks on authentic connections.

I quizzed Sarah on all kinds of facets around being single, dating and the three principles. If you listen to just ONE podcast about dating I reckon you'd be pleased you made this the one. She is blooming fabulous, she has heaps of experience in this area, talks such sense and so easy to listen to and understand.

Here are my fave bits:

  • Sarah talked about how we only really connect with another person when we're showing up as our authentic self. If we have a whole load of thinking about how we should look and act to make the best impression then that's going to get in the way of that connection.
  • Needy is creepy... If we're looking for someone else to complete us or to make us happy then we'll be bringing that energy to our connection with another person - it's not likely to lead to an happy relationship.
  • Being a 'naked hedgehog' is when we let go of all our protective, defensive thoughts and open-heartedly allow others into our lives - which brings with it the risk of getting hurt, but is the only way we can truly be close to others.
  • Meeting a potential partner becomes easier when we're happy in our own skin, enjoying life and become more open to meeting and connecting with people as a 'naked hedgehog' in general.
Direct download: Sarah_Abell_Interview_mixdown_01.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:25pm EDT

When we decided to focus on 'dating' this month I was delighted to get a chance to speak to coach and brand consultant Sandra Koenig about her amazing story of aiming to go from single to married in just eight weeks!

Sandra has an understanding of inborn happiness and the three principles of Mind, Thought & Consciousness that we talk about here on Born Happy and decided to take on this marriage challenge when she took part in one of Michael Neill's 'Creating the Impossible' mastermind groups.

Sandra dated up a storm in those weeks and in this episode she shares the incredible experiences and the learning she took from it. If you're starting to dip a toe in the world of dating, you'll find Sandra's words so helpful. These were my best bits:

  • Sandra spoke about how she approached each date with a light heart and an open mind, and without a tonne of expectations about what would take place. That's such a wonderful way to approach anything in life as it helps to lowers the (perceived) stakes and allows us to see and create new opportunities.
  • Sandra has a great understanding of innate happiness and wellbeing which meant that she didn't take any of the 'bad dates' personally and was able to bring compassion and honesty to some pretty cringy moments!
  • Intuition and natural wisdom came up several times in our conversation - Sandra said she really listened to what her feelings were telling her rather than trying to over-think what she should do about each date. Sandra said let go of any concerns of what others might expect from you - whether that's sex on the first date or anything else - just be guided by what feels right for you.
  • Sandra talked about how helpful it is to recognise that any 'thought storms' she had about dates all blew over. Thoughts all flow past - no thinking is fixed and permanent.

You'll have to listen to find out whether her challenge was successful! :)

 

Direct download: Sandra_Koenig_Interview_mixdown_01.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 2:16pm EDT

I’m delighted to share this Happy Hour Conversation with Michael Neill on how we were all born with happiness as our default. Michael is an incredible world-renowned coach, a best-selling author and a Tedx speaker. He speaks about the three principles of Mind, Thought & Consciousness in such a beautifully clear, entertaining and genuine way. Many people credit Michael (and his book The Inside-Out Revolution) with how they first discovered their inborn happiness.

Michael was on his usual fabulous form in this conversation. There were loads of cool parts but these were my faves:

  • There’s a ‘happy that’s the opposite of sad’ but there’s a different kind of happiness –  which is a space that can happiness exist, even when we’re having an experiencing of sadness. We can have all kinds of experiences but we can do it from a place of knowing that we still have that inborn happiness.
  • This work of speaking about the three principles is reminding not teaching – because we were all born happy, deep-down we all know this.  When we hear people talking about that place of happiness, even when our intellect is struggling to make sense of it, we can often feel a sense of recognition in our body.
  • When we’re struggling to see that we have inborn happiness – we often look for this in our minds, in our brain, even in our unhappiness – but it’s when we stop looking we catch a glimpse of what’s already there, inside us. When Michael talks of ‘staying the conversation’ he means stay where the conversation’s happening, keeping looking in this direction but stop searching for something specific – stay in the cupboard but stop looking for the peanut butter (you kinda have to listen to the episode for that to make sense)! 
Direct download: Michael_Neill_Interview_HS_Edit.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 1:18pm EDT

Transformative Coach Eirik is a delight to listen to, whether you're looking for more creativity, success and happiness in business or not.

He's one of those super-cool, wise-beyond-his-years, open-hearted people and he talks about some really useful ways of looking at life via the lens of the three principles so that everything becomes so much happier, easier and more enjoyable.

In theory we were focusing on business but somehow we touched on sex, cakes and all kinds of stuff! Here were my best bits (warning: I giggle a lot in this episode!):

  • Going beyond self-improvement - Trying to DO more and trying to THINK more doesn't help to make us any happier or more successful (and it's a tough job juggling everything to keep all of that in place) - simply recognising that all that doing and thinking doesn't work, can be a first step back towards seeing where happiness really exists.
  • If you're stressed and overwhelmed but you don't understand how to make a change - Make a choice... are you willing to look towards this new way of seeing life that we're describing? If you are and you keep exploring this direction and you're open to something changing for you then at some point it will.
  • Overcoming  the fear of failure - Eirik talked about how if we recognise there probably isn't an outside force judging us and recognise it's only our own thoughts creating an illusion of consequences, judgement and failure, we start to lower the stakes, reduce the pressure and feel able to play more freely.
Direct download: Happiness_in_business_with_Eirik_Grunde_Olsen.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 4:26am EDT

Nicola Bird on business and happiness. A Happy Hour Conversation with Nicola Bird

If you’re looking for a way to create that Holy Grail of a successful business life with happiness, calm and simplicity then you’ll love hearing Nicola Bird’s take on how it’s possible!

These were my best bits:

  • Nicola talking about seeking happiness in an adrenaline-junkie-seeking-success way, and then having hit her seven-figure goal in her business and ticking every box that she thought would be her dream life… realising she still didn’t feel happy.
  • How Nicola has moved from being a control freak obsessed with goals, plans, process and programs to following her intuition and natural wisdom as to what to do next next in her business. This is bringing her so much joy and has transformed the way Nicola works with her team.
  • When Nicola sees that her wellbeing has nothing to do with her success in business,  she sees her business as a game and she can play full-out and fearless. “Game on”!
  • The internet marketing blueprints, formulas, how-tos and seven-step plans are created in all innocence based on people’s thoughts on what they think created their success. Nicola has realised that once we understand the three principles, our personal thinking settles down, we’re more able to hear our own wisdom and insights – and that’s the “gold dust”!
Direct download: Nicola_Bird_Interview.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 2:18pm EDT

Timber Hawkeye of Buddhist Boot Camp on happiness. A Happy Hour Conversation with Timber Hawkeye.

Lian Brook-Tyler interviews Timber Hawkeye, author of Buddhist Boot Camp and founder of the hugely popular movement of the same name, about inborn happiness, Buddhism and how it compares to the three principles. 

Direct download: Timber_Hawkeye_on_2014-08-05_at_19.35_audio.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 2:12pm EDT

Dave Booda, a coach, teacher and musician and Lian Brook-Tyler talk about all things related to the  three principles of inborn happiness - including amazing relationships, creativity and the search for a meaningful life.

It's a tad rock 'n' roll in places with bits that you won't want little ears to hear - I recommend you watch this after their bedtime or wear earphones!

Enjoy!

Direct download: Dave_Booda_on_2014-07-08_at_17.07_audio.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 2:10pm EDT

Jamie Smart on happiness. A Happy Hour conversation.

Jamie Smart and Lian Brook-Tyler talk about the three principles behind our inborn happiness and clarity.

Jamie is an internationally renowned writer, speaker, coach and consultant. He shows individuals and organisations the unexpected keys to clarity; the ultimate leverage point for creating more time, better decisions and meaningful results.

Direct download: Jamie_Smart_and_Lian_Interview_May_2014_Final_with_ending.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:48pm EDT