This week, I'm talking to Rasmus Carlsson, who is a transformative coach, trainer and group facilitator and becoming quite a regular on the Born Happy Show.

Rasmus says that we're often conditioned to think that love between people means certain things - often romantic or sexual. Today we're talking about how love shows up in change work. And what it means both in coaching and teaching relationships and also, more broadly in life.

And we laughed too. :D

What you'll learn in this show:

• We can misinterpret the presence or connection (or we could call it 'love') that sometimes shows up in a relationship, we can believe it must be romantic or sexual, instead of a connection that's natural for every one of us.

• Many of the uncomfortable and painful feelings we have as adults are because we've been conditioned to be so closed, but we were born with everything we need to have a fabulously happy and connected life, so as Yoda said "You must unlearn what you have learned."

• Rasmus likened love to this great quote from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: "There is an art to flying, or rather a knack. It's knack lies in learning to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, that presents the difficulties." As Rasmus said love is about throwing yourself at it, let go and not being afraid of getting hurt - because it's actually impossible to be hurt. As Rasmus said: being hurt is just an idea.

The super power of loving kindness... Katie Abbott

Katie Abbott is a therapist and coach, she's been running the Lewis Clinic in Harley Street for the last 8 years, runs retreats abroad and events in London. She's written for The Guardian, Observer, and Psychologies Magazine.

Katie is passionate about giving people the experience of being welcomed, accepted and loved. She enjoys exploring the space beyond words. In this episode we're talking about the super power of loving kindness.

What you'll learn in this show:

• We are born with our hearts wide open and therefore we're able to connect beautifully to others. As we grow we're surrounded by people who are telling us, one way or another, that we need to close up to be safe. As we remember our true nature, we begin to open again and realise that this is actually much safer way to be (that's if we consider that having a full, rich, creative and loving experience of life is something worth having!)

• We're all the same and we all have the same need for connection. It's easy to get caught up in the differences between us but they're just superficial. There's a place or an essence of us all that goes way beyond the psychological and physical, and that's something that connects us all.

• We're often taught conditional love and therefore don't believe that we're worth being loved unconditionally but we all have the same loveability! We all have the potential to be touched by love and to live from love.

The lazy way to massive success.. with Anthony Davis

This week I'm speaking to Anthony Davis, coach, writer and curious pioneer in the field of practical and productive simplicity. Anthony's background is in systems planning, ecology, and business coaching and over the years has seen the genius of simplicity and doing less. 

Today we're talking The Principle of Least Action and how it creates an amazing life. His projects include: simplifying business, simplifying projects, simplifying skiing, simplifying life. And all with taking the least amount of time and energy.  In essence, Anthony shares his secrets for success the lazy way. Oh and it ends with a real gem! :)

What you'll learn in this show:

• Anthony believes that if something looks difficult then you're just not seeing it right. If we take the time to really understand what's going on then awesomely simple and easy opportunities will arise.

• The genius of following natural tendencies - how something will play out if left alone or with little intervention - we allow the system to do the work for us - Anthony gives a great example of his dad's lawn on this one!

• I'll let Anthony sum up the last gem in his own words...

  "Now a phobia is something where we get a reaction without the stimulus being present. For example, someone with a spider phobia feels uncomfortable experiencing the thought of spiders without them being present. And, we all know it’s not the spider creating the reaction, because there isn’t a spider present. So we don’t blame the spider or try to change it, because we know it’s not the spider that’s creating the feeling and experience. Well, it’s the same with all thoughts. We can blame people, food, work, money, relationships, events in our lives, backgrounds, or whatever as the cause of our feelings.  But that’s a phobic reaction. When you’re not at work, but feeling uncomfortable or worrying or stressing about work, like the spider, it can’t be the work that’s the cause, as it’s not present.That’s a phobic reaction. They’re all phobic reactions. And the cause? It’s never the spider or thing. Just our thinking in the moment that we’re experiencing.

  Oh, and happiness and feeling good. If you think that’s coming from someone or something (and not even present), then logically that has to a phobic reaction too.It can only work one way. It’s always an inside job"