The Primal Happiness Show

How to feel better? It's all about unconditional trust... with Don Deacy


This week I'm speaking to Don Deacy. Don's a three principles coach and also a therapist with many years of experience in all kinds of healing modalities such Acupuncture, Chinese Herbal Medicine and Bowen Therapy.

After a lifetime of studying various martial arts at a superficial level Don started studying the martial art of Aikido in 1992 and teaching it in 1997. His passion for this martial art and his desire to understand 'chi', or as the Japanese call it 'ki', led to studying and qualifying in various healing modalities such as Acupuncture, Chinese Herbal Medicine and Bowen Therapy.

Initially practicing these therapies as a hobby they quickly became a passion alongside Aikido. In 2008, with the help of his wonderful wife, Don came to see that raising a family, teaching a martial art, running a part time therapy practice and working full time was just too much and something had to give way. So with the support of his wife and family Don took the decision to leave the world of paid employment and set up a full time practice as a therapist.

 Whilst working as a professional therapist Don came to clearly see the psychological dimension of illness. Feeling ill equipped to address this need he started searching for a solution. In 2011 Don was fortunate enough to come across Jamie Smart and was exposed to Three Principles understanding as uncovered by Sydney Banks. Jamie's wonderful work enabled Don to embrace this understanding and he began coaching using the Three Principles as part of his practice in 2012.

In 2013 Don completed the Three Principles Trainer’s Training (3PTT) programme run by Cathy Casey and Dr Mark Howard. As a result of Jamie's work, the excellent 3PTT and the many wonderful teachers he was exposed to over that period Don's professional direction has been profoundly changed. Coaching and teaching the Three Principles has become his primary activity and significantly influencing all the other aspects of his work.

Today we're going to be talking about the desire to feel better versus the unconditional trust that we already are perfectly OK, perfectly happy!

What you'll learn in this show:

Don and I chatted again after the show and he'd expanded further on some questions I asked during the show. And his answers actually make a great summary of some of the great things you'll learn during the show!

  • "What do I mean by grounding? Grounding is balance. An ease of movement and interaction with the world. From grounding comes the ability to flow, to extend our senses, to ride the waves, to take the knocks and keep our equilibrium."
  • "What do I mean by spiritual? Spiritual is beyond the world of form as we see it in the moment. A connection to a far greater wisdom than our personal intellect. From the spiritual comes possibility, new understanding, hope and wonder that guides us and teaches us.
  • "What do I mean by form? We can be conscious/aware of form but we can only be conscious of the the possibility within the formless. As soon as we try to be conscious of the formless we are in effect creating form.What comes to mind is a metaphor. The telescope. When we look through a telescope we see what we are looking at and that is in effect form. Now, there is much more out there than what we are looking at . What we see is what I would refer to as form. What we don't see is what I would refer to as formless. So it is possible to view form and formless as separate but that would be misleading. Form is born from the formless, as is enriched by it, like when we focus a telescope. Form is in effect our awareness which is an element of consciousness. Form is like truth in that it is time specific. The formless is infinite, it is the home of hope, of insight, of wonder, of possibility. The form is present and the home of the intellect. We can move a telescope and we can focus in and out but we must be aware that there is always more to see and what we are looking at we can always see differently.

    Form is the experience of life and the formless is the possibility of life. [mmmm, I love that! Lian]

    Form is our understanding in the moment, this is fixed and it has to be to allow us to navigate. As the saying goes, the map is not the territory, so the formless allows us to create new maps and indeed will demand that we do so. As a telescope on earth will allow us to see the universe in a certain way and depending on the location to varying degrees of clarity, the hubble telescope which is in space not only allows us to see the universe in much more detail is has demanded that we rethink everything we thought we knew about the universe!! So perhaps a shift in consciousness is like moving our telescope higher and higher into space. This must by its very nature change what we think we know about form."

Direct download: Don_Deacy_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 2:42pm EDT

This week I’m speaking to Jeff Rader. Jeff doesn’t like to be described as a coach, teacher, mentor but is coming to terms with being called facilitator but mostly just likes to be known as Jeff!

Today we’re going to be talking about recovery from addiction. Or as Jeff said… alcohol wasn’t his problem, it was his solution to the pain created by his focus on himself and  his thoughts.


What you’ll learn in this show:

  • Jeff talked about people need to be in touch with a higher power in order to overcome addiction and stay alive. I say that all of us need something like that, although maybe we don’t need to think of it as God or even a higher power actually. It can simply be feeling that we’re in connection to all that is, has ever been and ever will be. When we understand that we get to see that we’re not so important or responsible for making everything happen. That lack of obsessive focus on ourselves is incredibly freeing.
  • I loved how Jeff talked about accepting and appreciating of the incredible miracle of it all. When we see how awesome the design of the world is, it makes a lot less sense to whinge and moan about the tiny parts of it that aren’t quite as we’d like.
  • We talked about the core of happiness, peace and wellbeing true for all of us, it’s only our thoughts that seem as though we don’t have this. This comes up over and over on this show and it’s no surprise because it’s such a life changer when we really see this for ourselves!
Direct download: Jeff_Rader_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 9:58am EDT


This week I'm speaking to Phil Goddard. Phil says that whilst he could be described as a coach, but he said he could be more simply described as a Lover. :)

And it is this pure loving presence that he brings to his clients, groups, family and friends. He started coaching professionally in 2005 and transitioned from an incredibly successful career a leader in UK local and central government departments, and I.T corporations.

Swapping hard work for heart work, he brings the simplicity, power and clarity of love into many other lives and organisations, getting to the 'heart of the matter' through one-on-one coaching and coaching intensive retreats, whilst travelling around Europe and the USA. For the past decade, Phil's been evolving his work and the way he works with his clients and he's releasing more recently that it's super simple and really just comes down to love.

And today, we're talking about self-love - or how to get over yourself. :)

What you'll learn in this show:

  • Self-love isn't about treating yourself. As Phil says ' all means have the dark Belgium chocolates, buy yourself red roses, treat yourself to a massage, get down to the gym and feast on spinach soup for lunch. Allow yourself some quiet time, say f**k it and book that holiday, have a sit down with a cup of tea, get a manicure and buy the not-from-concentrate juice.' but that isn't what self-love is. Self-love is purely about accepting yourself, as you are.
  • If you're negotiating with yourself "If I put myself through this Hell then I can reward myself afterwards." then that's not love. Reward to counterbalance judgement is not an act of love. Love doesn't involve judgement.
  • Notice the difference between how acceptance feels and how resistance feel. Can you feel that acceptance doesn't create tension?
Direct download: Phil_Goddard_Interview_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:33pm EDT