The Primal Happiness Show

I’m here today with Lea Ann Mallett, a wild woman, activist and midlife momma who believes fiercely that we all have a wild place within us that feeds our magic. Her greatest desire is to make the world a better place by demonstrating to everyone that our everyday choices DO change the world. In her activism she has travelled from direct action wilderness activist to nonprofit leader, from sitting in an ancient cedar for three days to protest clear-cut logging to leading forest protests to creating thriving nonprofits. She now inspires mission-driven leaders to greater impact as a leadership coach, is creating a new vision for activism, and she creates photo-essays of life, love and connection in her blog “Becoming Undomesticated”.

In this show, Lea Ann and I explore the topic of death and grief... whether or not there is a 'right' way to grieve and how a clearer understanding of death can allow us to live more fulfilling, more present and happier lives.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • The linear definition of grief (as outlined in 'The 5 stages of grief') can be limiting. When we see through this definition we're freer to experience grief in a less conditioned way, we are then open to find real growth, beauty, freedom and gratitude in loss and all in our own unique time too.

  • When we're able to see death and ageing as transformation rather than something scary or wrong, we're able to see the fleeting, changeable nature of life which inspires us to make the most of our time here, to live bigger and brighter. Take that trip around the world, tell people that you love them, dance barefoot around the garden or whatever it is that takes your fancy!

  • As we honour death - and in some cultures there's traditions that are dedicated to celebrating this - we are more able to accept and embrace it fully. Whilst your culture might not have a tradition like this, you have the choice to create your own philosophy about death. How could you and your family honour death rather than fear it?

Direct download: Lea_Ann_Mallett_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:30pm EDT

This week's show is with Piers has been a personal and professional development coach since 2001, and coached 100s clients for 1000s of hours; ranging from national newspaper editors, to Sheiks in Riyadh, to international sports people. He first discovered the principles in 2009, but it wasn’t until participating in SuperCoach 2011 that he realise this was going to be a huge turning point in his life and work. Previously he had based my change work around NLP (he was a NLP trainer) Clean Language, Appreciative Inquiry, and range of others approaches and techniques. Now he is having a wonderful time exploring the Principles with his clients, both in the corporate and private client worlds.

Piers is currently in the final stages of divorce and has generously agreed to share what he's learned from going through the experience. So in this show we explore whether it's possible to go through a relationship break-up and divorce without it being a long battle of bitterness and anger.

I’d love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let’s carry on the conversation…  please leave a comment below.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • We all have our own narrative about what a relationship should be like. Recognising that that that narrative is just something we've made up (via thought) allows us to 'loosen our narrative' and be open to moving onto a different relationship with the other person, whether that's as friends, amicable exes or something else.
  • Some thinking can be particularly seductive - Piers likened it to being sucked in by the Dementors from Harry Potter! That kind of thinking can be very hard to notice that it's just thought. But it can be so helpful to notice that even the most seductive, Dementor-like thinking isn't us (just like our dreams aren't us), it doesn't last 24/7 and when we're not thinking about something, we're not feeling it.
  • We often build stories around people in our life and then continually see that person through that lens. But we can look afresh from a neutral space ('mind neutral' as Piers described it) and see the person how they actually are in this moment, without all the thinking around justification, traditional, commitment, beliefs, history and fairness. From that neutrality we have the opportunity to create a whole different relationship with them. Even knowing this neutrality exists, makes it possible for us.
  • You don't have to stick at difficult conversations if either of you are in a low state of mind. Piers gave the example of he and his ex-wife having a conversation about money and having an awareness of their state of mind. When the feeling dropped, they agreed to pause and then waited until they were in a higher state of mind before restarting the conversation. 
  • I loved the point that Piers made at the end: if you're going through a difficult break-up right now, there's probably aspects such as money or custody which don't look like they're 'just thought', but it is all made of the same stuff as everything else. You always have the opportunity to have a liberation from the way you're thinking and feeling about it at the moment.
Direct download: Piers_Thurston_on_Breakup_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 12:26pm EDT

This week's show is with Jim Pehkonen. Jim is a Life Architect and a Certified Transformative Coach who works in the fields of chemical addiction recovery and youth at risk. Jim works with up to 60 people in recovery weekly … making a profound difference while opening a space for healing.

In this show we spoke about how it’s possible to move on from trauma in your past.

What you'll learn from this episode:

  • We all have a past but none of us are defined or limited by our past. The things that happened to you are just things that you experienced, they're not you.
  • We can't be soiled or stained by trauma our past, almost every part of us is constantly being renewed. The only place trauma exists is in our thoughts.
  • Jim spoke of the power of becoming aware of where your thoughts are putting blocks between you and love. Once we see those blocks for what they are - simply thought - we can also see that we can always reconnect to love. We always have that choice.
Direct download: Jim_Pehkonen_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 10:32am EDT

This week's show is with Jacqueline Hollows, the founder of Beyond Recovery CIC. Jacqueline works within the criminal justice system (with support staff and inmates) sharing how our experience of life is created from our own minds. Jacqueline has seen that through a fresh thought in any moment, a deeper level of common sense, connection and resilience is always available. Even in prison people are finding humour, and connection, and joy and peace of mind. If that is possible in one small section of one prison– the universal possibilities are limitless!

In this show we talk about Jacqueline's work in prisons and what she's seen about labels and diagnoses (e.g. PTSD, addict, depression, anxiety)... both how they can initially be helpful and also what's possible when we see past those labels and understand the true nature of how our minds work.

I’d love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let’s carry on the conversation… please leave a comment below.

  • What you'll learn from this episode: Labels and diagnoses can be helpful in people getting some help and also allowing them and those around them to see their psychological innocence. But this is only part of the puzzle... labels can keep people feeling broken and from moving past that label.
  • We can grow and move past suffering when we begin to see where the suffering is coming from - our own thoughts.
  • Hearing about what possible for prisoners' with very challenging life stories, a collection of labels and diagnoses, and not to mention the circumstances of being locked away in prison, shows what's possible for all of us!


Direct download: Jacqueline_Hollows_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 9:48am EDT

This week's show is with Lucas Rockwood, a yoga teacher trainer, digital nomad, green food junkie, and serial entrepreneur. With a formal yoga training background in Hot Yoga, Ashtanga Yoga, Gravity Yoga, and the Yoga Trapeze, Lucas has studied with some of the most well-respected teachers on the planet. Lucas founded Absolute Yoga Academy in 2006, one of the top 10 yoga teacher training schools in the world with 2,000 certified teachers (and counting) and courses in Thailand, Holland, United Kingdom, and The Philippines.


In search of nutritional products designed specifically for achy yoga students’ bodies, Rockwood worked with senior nutritional formulator, Paul Gaylon, and founded, YOGABODY Naturals, in the back of his yoga studio in 2007. The company has gone from strength-to-strength and is now an internationally-renowned nutrition, education, and publishing organization serving 81 countries. 


In this show we talk about how unnaturally most humans eat in today's modern world and what that's doing to our health, weight and energy levels. And what we can do instead! I’d love to know what YOU think about this week's show. Let’s carry on the conversation… please leave a comment below. What you'll learn from this episode: 

  • When we get caught up in diet religions or paradigms (such as paleo or raw vegan) and they don't work, it's easy to give up on the approach altogether and flip back to the way they were eating before... typically the standard diet of foods which are convenient, hyper-palatable, high glycemic, low nutrient and processed, which is unlikely to be optimal for anyone. 
  • Eating a low fat and high carb diet is very common these days, whether it's a standard diet or a raw food diet but Lucas cautions that this way of eating can cause health issues in the longer term - 'a metabolic disaster' in Lucas's words. That's why many of us find that we run into health issues, sexual dysfunction, mood disorders, and weight gain as we get older even when we're eating the exact same way as we did when we were younger. 
  • The best place for most of us to start is by looking at our macros - fat, carbs, and protein. Lucas's suggests starting with eating a gram of carb for each pound of your ideal body weight, around half a gram of protein for each pound of your ideal bodyweight and then fill in the rest with the healthiest fats you can find (i.e. not yellow vegetable oils in clear plastic bottles). And experiment! Measure your blood glucose and see how your diet changes are working for you... we're all a bit different, what works for me might not work for you!
Direct download: Lucas_Rockwood_mixdown_Final.mp3
Category:Interview -- posted at: 10:24am EDT